


The Pizza-man and the Babysitter

by beware_of_fangirling



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Character Death, Child Abandonment, Drug Dealing, Drugs, Human Castiel, M/M, Major Character Injury, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-02-03 14:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1747511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_fangirling/pseuds/beware_of_fangirling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean wasn't a stranger to moving. His dad used to cart him and his younger brother Sam all around the States. They never had a real home, not since he was four and his mother perished in a terrible house fire. Finally, they have some roots. Their dad, deciding he couldn't care for them anymore, left them with their Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen. It was their firts chance to have a home and make friends, and that is precisely what Dean thinks when he meets Castiel, the blue-eyed pizza-delivery man. But is that all he wants?</p><p>COMPLETE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Pizza-man

**Author's Note:**

> This will most likely be the longest and *crossed fingers* best written story of mine. The next few chapters should be up shortly. Most chapters will be written from Dean's P.O.V but there will be short parts from Castiel. Also, by P.O.V I mean that the stories are not actually told by them but follow them around.

>>>>> **DEAN** <<<<<

"You boys be good now. We'll be back around 9." 

"Ellen, we know. Go, your gonna be late!" Dean rushed his aunt out of the house.

"BOBBY! Come on!" She yelled up the stairs.

"Coming," came the voice from behind them. As he was passing Dean on his way out, he stopped and said, "You idjits try not to break anything." Dean gave a small salute and shut the door behind them. His 12 year old brother Sam was watching TV from the couch with their cousin Jo. 

"You guys hungry? I'm ordering pizza." Dean asked on his way to the kitchen. He dialed the number on the menu and placed his order, adding in a slice of cherry pie. "Should be here in 10."

>>>>>>>>>> **10 MINUTES LATER** <<<<<<<<<<

 _Knock! Knock! Knock!_ Dean got up from the couch to answer the door, annoyance building inside him at the obnoxious banging on the door. He swung it open to reveal a teenager, probably no older than Dean, in dark jeans and red tee-shirt with the pizza parlor logo on the front. He was holding a large pizza box and a bag containing, presumably, Dean's pie. 

"Pizza for, Dean," the boy read off the order slip. Dean was startled by how deep his voice was.

"Uh, yeah that's me. How much?" 

"$15," the delivery man told him.

"The money's in the other room, would you mind bringing the food in," Dean faltered as he read the guys name tag, "Castiel?" 

The boy, Castiel, just nodded and walked through the door Dean was holding open. Dean followed and actually got to take a real look at the boy for the first time, noticing some features he hadn't before. The boy had a small scruff and reven black sex hair. The  part of him that caught Dean's eye the most though, were his eyes. Blue, electrifying. But it wasn't just their color, but the way they stared straight through you, like they were searching through your brain, picking apart all your thoughts, gazing at your very worst fears. It was around this time he notices Castiel had stopped and noticed him staring. Dean quickly coughed awkwardly and looked away.

"Here you go." Dean handed Castiel the money and watched him was back out of the house, with no more than a nod in parting. Dean was about to turn away when he heard. Castiel groan angrily under his breath.

"Everything okay?" Dean asked, curious.

"Yeah fine." Castiel dismissed the question and started to walk back in the direction he came from.

"Hey, did you walk here?" Dean called after him, leaving the door open to follow Catsiel.

"No, but why do you care?" Castiel stopped to face Dean.

"I don't know, curious," Dean shrugged. "Why don't you have a way back?"

"It's no big deal. Just some assbutts from school."

"They stole your ride?" 

"Yeah, but I can get it back tomorrow when school starts." Tomorrow was the first day of school after a blistering summer. Dean had just moved into town a few weeks back with his brother and was not looking forward to the next day.

"Let me give you a ride," Dean offered.

"Thanks but no thanks. I can walk."

"Come on, it's a twenty minute walk. Just let me give you a quick lift."

Castiel sighed and nodded before following Dean to a georgeous black car. Dean unlocked it using real keys, no modern buttons for him. The '67 Chevy Impala was old, but Dean loved it more than anything, except maybe Sam. Dean slid into the drivers seat as Castiel sat next to him awkwardly with his hands in his lap. The radio, which was normally blasting a song from one of Dean's cassette tapes (yes it was  _that_  old) was turned down and Dean decided to make use of this to start of conversation with the blue-eyed boy sitting to his right. 

"So, Cas, you go to school here?" He asked, not really sure what else to say.

"Yes, I'm starting my sophomore year. Are you new? I don't think I have seen you before." Castiel replied quietly.

"Yeah, just moved here during summer. I'm sophomore too." Dean noted the formality Castiel spoke with. They were quiet for the rest of the ride. Eventually Dean slowed to a stop in front of the small pizza shop and Castiel got out. He turned around and peered at Dean through the open window. 

"Thank you for the ride," He paused before adding with a small smile, the first he had in a while, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Dean couldn't help but grin back before he drove away, blue-eyes filling his thoughts.


	2. The Babysitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel returns home with a lot to think about and Dean prepares for his first day of school, maybe a little to eager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is really short. I just wanted to give you a glimpse into Castiel's life. More to come soon. I have the first four chapters pre-written, but after those new chapters should be up once every two weeks. Enjoy!

>>>>> **CASTIEL** <<<<<

Castiel flopped onto his bed as soon as he was back at his house. He was lucky enough

to avoid his siblings on his way up to the small room he was able to call his own. It was his only place he could find peace and quiet in the Novak household. His family was big, and it didn't help that his mother's entire side of the family decided to move in with them. It's not that he didn't like them, but his four cousins- Micheal, Lucifer, Raphael, and Gabriel- were always getting him into trouble. When they weren't annoying Castiel, he could certainly count on Anna, Uriel, or another of his siblings to do that for them. To sum it up, Castiel was pretty much on his own.

As Castiel laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. All he could think about was the boy he had met earlier, Dean. There was something different about him, something that made Castiel think that maybe, for once in his life, he would like to have a friend. Castiel chuckled at the absurd thought. Castiel, the nerdy, quiet, secretive Castiel, a friend to Dean? Ridiculous. Dean was confident, strong, he would never pay attention to someone like Castiel. And that was probably a good thing. Castiel had only ever had one friend and that didn't end well.

Sighing, Castiel rolled off his bed, landing with a soft thump on the floor. He got up and took out his camera, looking through previous photos he hadn't got a chance to have developed. Castiel quite liked photography, but no one knew. No one cared.

He want to bed late that night, after sitting quietly staring at nothing for a few hours. He dreaded the though of school the next day.  Except...

 _Maybe I'll see Dean?_ He wasn't supposed to think that.

 _Shut up._  

>>>>> **DEAN** <<<<< 

"Sammy! Wake up! Your going to make me late for school!" Dean shouted at his little brother from their shared bathroom as he brushed his teeth. Sam was about to retaliate before going back to sleep when he registered his brothers last words. 

"You _want_ to go to school?" Sam asked skeptically. When Dean nodded he said, "How many fingers am I holding up?" Four.

Dean rolled his eyes and replied, "Eight." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh thank god! I thought you had actually become _smart_ ," Sam teased, earning a slap on the back of the head.

"Come on Sammy! This is the first time we don't have to go to school knowing we'll be packed up and leaving the next week. We can actually make friends for once!" Dean threw on a worn out black AC/DC shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought Dean Winchester didn't have friends. Only people he slept with," Sam teased again as he got dressed as well.

"Like I said Sammy, this year will be different." Dean smiled into the mirror, a real, genuine smile. He tried to hide it to avoid Sam's questions, but all his thoughts were on the blue-eyed boy from the previous night. He had known something was different about him from their first conversation. There was just something about him. A mystery behind that emotionless mask. And Dean wanted to know every detail.


	3. A New School and an Old Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean attends his first day of school at East Asher High, meeting a couple of old faces. This chapter is also really short, but the next one will be longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter. Enjoy!

>>>>> **DEAN** <<<<<

Dean couldn't help but smile as he parked the Impala in front of East Asher High School. Not only was he entering that morning knowing he wouldn't have to leave any time soon, but he actually knew someone already. Speak of the devil, Dean caught a glimpse of messy black hair hustling through the hallway. However, before he had a chance to go and talk to Castiel, Sam grabbed his arm and dragged him into the main office.   

"Hello boys. How may I help you?" A 50-something secretary smiled at them from behind her desk.   

"Uh, hi. We're new here. We just need to pick up our schedules," Dean replied awkwardly.

"Names?" The secretary got up open a large filing cabinet.  

"Winchester. Dean and Sam." After supplying their names, Dean searched for Cas' head among all the others in the hallway beyond the door, but to no avail.  _'_ _He must have gotten to his class_  already. _'_   Dean turned back around to face the lady as she held out to lamented papers. Dean took them both, memorizing Sam's before even glancing at his own. After thoroughly knowing it, Dean handed Sam his schedule. They both smiled and waved good-bye to the secretary and left their office. Dean probably would have just strolled off without casualties, but Ellen had said she would beat his ass if he wasn't on his best behavior. He did not put it past her. 

Once outside Dean turned to Sam. "Okay, we have lunch together so wait for me outside the cafeteria. Don't get lost and come find me if anyone starts picking on you," Dean would have gone on, but Sam interrupted him with a dismissive wave of his hand.  

"I know, I know. Now can I go to class. Being late for homeroom might not bode well with the teachers."  

"Yeah, fine, get going nerd. And Sam? Make some friends why don't you?" Dean smiled at his brother's back as he ran off down the hall. He finally started to head to his own homeroom as Sam turned the corner. He made it into the room and strolled to the first empty seat he saw a few mere seconds before the bell rang, winking at a few girls along the way.   

"Cutting it close I see?" The person next to him spoke up without glancing from the book they were buried in, causing Dean to look at them for the first time, his face brightening with recognition.   

"Cas! Long time no see." Dean was still smiling as Castiel looked up from his novel for the first time.  

"I do not understand Dean. I saw you only last night." Confusion was drawn across his features as he squinted his eyes and tilted his head. Dean suppressed a laugh at this.  _'Clearly not the most social fellow.'_  

"It's a figure of speech. Anyway-," Dean was about to ask him about he book he was reading- he may not read nice but it would be another chance to hear that voice he loved. In a totally platonic way of course. Totally- when he was cut off by a short, curvy girl leaning over the table to talk to Cas. Her brown hair reached her shoulders in loose curls and her moth was turned up into a suggestive smirk.  

"Hey Clarence," she said in a sickeningly sweet and somewhat flirty tone. Dean narrowed his eyes at her, getting the sense he knew her from somewhere.  

"Hello Meg," Cas replied as his own mouth turned up in a smirk.  _'Wait, Meg?!"_ Dean's suspicions were confirmed when she set her gaze on him and a mischievous glint took place in her eye.   

"Dean! Who would have guessed we would bump into each other again?" Cas looked between the two of them, confused and starting to get a little frustrated. Dean's eyes widened in shock before he recovered his cocky demeanor and sat back in his chair with a smirk.  

"Hello bitch." Dean caught a glimpse of anger in Cas' eyes out of the corner of his own. Just then one of Meg's friends called her over from the other side of the room. She turned to look before adverting her attention back to Castiel.  

"Got to go. See you later Clarence." Needless to say Dean was more than a little surprised when she wrapped her hand around Cas' tie and pulled him in for a somewhat long and more than a little heated kiss. He was even more shocked when Cas kissed back. They finally broke apart and Meg waltzed back over to her friends. Dean blinked quickly a few times before turning to Castiel, who had returned to his book like nothing had happened.   

"Wha-what was that?" Dean tried to ignore the small pang in his chest as he recalled what happened.   

"That was Meg. Speaking of which, how do you know her?" Cas turned to Dean with the same look of confused expression he had before they were interrupted.  

"She went to an old school of mine. How do  _you_ know her? Are you two, like, together or something?" Another small pang.  

"Not in the traditional sense of the word. I believe she refers to me as her 'booty call'. I suppose she is mine too," Cas said as he gave a small shrug and started to gather up his things. Dean looked around and realized most of the class was gone. The teacher must have dismissed them while Dean was ignoring the pain in his chest.   

 _'_ _If Cas is Meg's booty call, that means that they've-'_ No. Dean was not going to think about that, especially because it shouldn't even bother him. He told himself it was just because Meg was a bitch as he followed Cas out of the room. He turned to the other, only to realize Cas had already scampered off to his next class, which was in the opposite direction of Dean's.  _"Okie dokie then. I guess I'll see him at lunch."_       


	4. DRAMA BOMB!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very eventful lunch indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last pre-written chapter so they will be coming out about once every two weeks now. Enjoy!

>>>>> **DEAN** <<<<<<

 

The next few periods seemed to drag on forever. Dean had no more classes that day with Cas; they had compared schedules during first period. Finally it was lunch period.

 

Dean walked into the cafeteria and immediately felt like he was in some cliché high school drama. The different cliques were easily distinguish in the crowded room.

 

In the center of the room sat who Dean assumed were the popular jockheads, judging by the sports jackets and cheer leading uniforms. Dean recognized among them Lisa Breaden from his math class. She was hot and Dean assumed he would have slept with her at least once by the end of the week.

 

The geeks were along the edge of the room and the crackheads were in a far corner. That dick Crowley from his economics class was there and Dean recognized Meg sitting at a table in the other corner with that Ruby chick Dean saw Sam walking to class with.

 

Dean spotted Sam sitting at a table with a few other kids, but didn't want to barge in and ruin any chances of his brother making friends. He then searched the room for Cas and found him at a table near the exit with a pretty redhead, a blonde dude, and a petite fair haired girl. Dean decided it was worth it to go talk to him and walked over to them. Cas' face brightened when their eyes met and he beckoned for Dean to sit down.

 

"Hey Cas," Dean said with a smile before sitting down across from the trio.

 

"Hello Dean. These are my siblings Anna and Balthazar and my friend Hester. Guys this is Dean." Cas gestured to each of them in turn and they all smiled at Dean. Dean smiled back at them in turn, but everyone ceased movement when someone spoke from behind them, hatred and amusement laced into their tone.

 

"Castiel." The voice belonged to a tall blonde guy, probably a senior. He had his arms crossed over his chest as he stared down his nose at Cas, who stiffened visibly under his gaze. Balthazar and Anna also looked uncomfortable at his presence and Hester stared long and hard at the table, downright afraid. Dean was just confused. _Who the heck is this guy?_

 

"Hello Luc. Is their something you need?" Cas spoke with a strained formality, and all the guy- Luc- did was smirk.

 

"Why yes, baby cus, could we have a word alone?" He phrased it as a question, but their was no room for debate in his tone. Cas was going to be having a word with him, whether he wanted to or not. The blue eyed teenager stood up with his mouth in a straight line and began to walk away from the others with Luc. They only took five steps before Anna stood, a sudden burst of confidence seeming to hit her like lightning.

 

"Luc." Both retreating teenagers turned. Luc looked surprised and somewhat amused but Castiel was staring at Anna as if she just broke a law. "Behave yourself." Dean was admittedly impressed with her sudden change in demeanor, but Luc just smiled mischievously, his mouth turning up into a smirk.

 

"Oh Anna," he started, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder and lowering her rather forcefully into her seat. "I don't take orders from you." He then turned and strode away again, taking the sleeve of Castiel's shirt in his fist on the way. Cas stumbled after him, not even putting up a fight.

 

Once he was finally gone, Anna let out a sigh of relief. Hester tore her eyes away from the table, where they had stayed during the entire short exchange and Balthazar slumped back in his chair, pushing his food around the tray with a fork. None of them said a word until Dean got fed up with the deafening silence.

 

"What the hell was that?"

 

The other three looked up at him with startled eyes, seemingly remembering his presence for the first time since Luc came over.

 

"That," Balthazar started with a clam but hateful tone. Dean noted his English accent. He continued, "was Lucifer, our cousin." Dean's brow furrowed, many questions coming to mind the most prominent being why he wanted to talk to Cas and what the hell kind of name was Lucifer? He opted to voice the latter.

 

"We don't know. Cas probably forgot to do something or he needs a favor," Anna stated quietly.

 

"I just hope Cassie doesn't say something stupid. Remember last time?" Hester's eyes widened in horror.

 

"What happened last time?" Dean's brow furrowed in concern for his new friend.

 

"A lot of broken objects, some being bones. Castiel's bones to be exact." Balthazar was being terribly blunt, not even bothering to hide the contempt in his voice. Dean's stomach clenched at the thought and he let a small grimace show. He wasn't a wuss, but broken bones were certainly no fun.

 

Dean opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by another guy coming to the table. _What now?_ Dean immediately assumed that this guy was also related to Cas, due to his soft looking black hair and blue eyes, bright but no competition to Cas'.

 

"I saw Lucifer and Cas are gone. Is my brother stirring up trouble?"

 

"Michael, please, don't do anything rash. We are in school remember." Anna spoke softly but firmly and Michael just seamed his moth closed tightly and walked back to the table he came from.

 

"Another cousin of yours?"

 

"Yes. That was Michael. Sometimes and ass but not nearly as bad a Luc."

 

"Wow. A lot of Novaks in this town," Dean stated.

 

"Their family tree is massive," Hester spoke up. "The Novaks and the Ashers are the two biggest families in town. If you dig back far enough, even they are related. I'm an Asher."

 

"Asher as in East  _Asher_  High?"

 

"Yep. My great-great-great-grandparents founded the school. No idea why they put the East." Hester's eyes glimmered slightly. She was clearly interested in history, and knew a lot too. When Dean voiced this thought, she just blushed and looked down at the table. They ate in comfortable silence for a while, but each of the four looked nervously over to the door where Cas and Luc left a few times.

 

After what had to be most of the lunch period, Cas came back into the cafeteria, rushing back to his seat as Lucifer strolled calmly back to his table with a triumphant smile. Everyone at their small table ceased movement and looked at Castiel silently and expectantly, but he just kept his eyes trained on the tray as he started to eat again.

 

"Did he hit you?" Anna was the first to speak up, gently prodding Cas for answers to all of the unspoken questions hovering around the table.

 

"No."

 

"Cas-"

 

"I said no. Promise." He finally looked up at her and her gaze softened a bit more.

 

Balthazar was the next to speak. "What did he want?"

 

A hesitation. "It's nothing."

 

"Clearly not," Dean snarled and the rest of the table looked at him like WTF? "Sorry. Boundaries. Got it." He sheepishly looked down at his food.

 

"He's got a point," Balthazar said, inclining Castiel to answer the question, truthfully this time.

 

"He just needed me to keep quiet about something. It's no big deal."

 

Dean wanted to prod for answers, but he knew their would be consequences if Cas told him, of all people, the guy he barely knew, and he did not want to be the reason for his friend to get hurt.

 

The bell rang at last, signaling for everyone to throw their stuff out and head back to another miserable class. They all parted ways, Hester waiting for Cas to walk to class with him.

 

"Hey Cas!" Castiel stopped when Dean called his name and turned to face the green-eyed teen. "Do you want to come over after school?" Dean glanced nervously around the room, not wanting to meet Cas' blue-eyed stare. _Geez, where did all my confidence go?_

Cas smiled. "I'd like that Dean."

 

Dean's face broke into a ridiculous grin before he was able to get himself under control. "Cool. Yeah, cool. Uh, how about you meet me in the parking lot?" Cas nodded in conformation before turning to walk away with Hester, who was waiting patiently during their quick exchange. He wisely waited until after they left- Dean staring uncontrollably at Cas', er, back, the entire time- before pumping his fist in the air and laving for his class, smiling ear to ear. _Oh dear, what is this boy doing to me?_   


	5. Home Bitter-Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean's plans are intervened with and Lucifer makes a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been long! Updates will be even less frequent as the school year starts. Enjoy!

>>>>> **DEAN** <<<<<

Dean waited out in the nearly empty parking lot. School had been out for ten minutes and still no sign of Cas. Sam was hanging out with some friend named Gabriel so the eldest Winchester was left by his self, and he was growing impatient. Dean was about go look for him in the school when he saw the familiar black crop of hair. He smiled before noticing that Cas was not alone. Anna was by his side, supporting him with one arm around his waist and one of the blue-eyed boy's arms around her shoulder. Balthazar was in a similar position on his other side. Castiel looked terrible, his lip busted and one eye turning black. He winced whenever he put pressure on his left foot and blood was seeking through his shirt by his ribcage.

"Cas?!" Dean ran over to them and tried to help support Cas, even though Balthazar and Anna waved him off. "What the hell happened?"

"Lucifer," Bathazar spat.

"Dean, we're sorry, but we have to get Castiel home. We'll see you tomorrow." Anna smiled at him and they tried to walk away again but Dean wasn't going to let that happen.

"Let me give you guys a ride at least. Cas is my friend." Dean knew it was weird to care so much about someone he met only the previous day, but he did and that couldn't be changed.

"Thank you." Anna smiled gratefully while Bathazar mumbled something about 'family matters'.

Dean helped them lay Cas in the backseat. Dean sat up front with Balthazar and Anna was with Cas, his head on her lap. Balthazar directed Dean to the Novak house, but Dean realized when they arrived that mansion was a more appropriate title. The place was huge, built entirely out of brick, with vines creeping up the sides.

"Thanks again, Dean. We'll take him from here," Anna said as her and Balthazar got out of the Impala and began the struggle of lugging their limp and unconscious brother out as well.

"Let me help, please."

Balthazar and Anna shared a look before the blonde turned to look at him. "Go home, Dean."

"But-"

"Dean, please. Let us handle this."

"But- Fine, fine. Just tell Cas to call me when he wakes up. I gave him my number earlier."

They both nodded and started to walk up into their house, Anna smiling again at Dean. The teenager waited until they were inside and the large stone doors had shut before getting back into the Impala and driving away.

>>>>> **LATER** <<<<<

It was a few hours before the doorbell rang, signaling to Dean that Sam was getting dropped off. The elder Winchester made his way to the door, grumbling about Sam being late. When he opened the door he was met with a strangely familiar face, but he couldn't put his finger on where he had seen it before. Sam was also standing there, deep in conversation with a shorter long-haired kid around his age. The pair were completely oblivious to Dean's precense. 

"Sorry we're late, family emergancy. I'm Micheal," the not-quite-stranger said. Dean could have face-palmed right there. Micheal Novak, Cas' cousin. Lucifer's brother.

"Hi, I'm Dean. You're Luc's brother right?" Dean tried to keep most of the comtempt out of his voice. 

"Uh, yeah. Are you a friend of his?" 

Dean wanted to retch at the mere suggestion. "No, but I know Castiel. I saw you at lunch today."

Micheal's face lit up with recognition. "Of course, I rember you now. Did you drive Castiel home today after,uh, his accident."

_Accident my ass,_ Dean thought. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Anna and Bathazar mentioned a friend giving them a ride back to the house. Our sides of the family lives together," He clarified. 

"Got it. How is Cas?" Dean had been subconciously worrying about his friend ever since Baltazar and Anna shut the door, even when he tried to take his mind off of it. 

"He's fine. Just a bit busted up. He should be back to school in a few days. Concussion, a mild one." 

Dean winced internally. He opened his mouth to ask more, but was inturrupted by a squeaky premature voice.

"You guys know were still here right?" Sam. He and his friend- Gabriel- had turned their attention to their brothers at some point. 

"Of course. We should probably go. Good to see you Dean," Micheal said, herding Gabriel to the car. 

"See ya. Tell Cas I said hi!"

"Bye Gabe!"

"See you round Sam-o!"

The Novak boys pulled out of the driveway and Dean ushered Sam back inside, shutting the door behind him. As Sam took his shoes off, Dean padded off to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Translation: pop a frozen pizza in the oven. Sam came in and sild into a chair at the table, immediatly opening his mouth to speak.

"So I take it you know Gabe's family."

"Uh yeah, his cousin Cas is in some of m classes. Cool guy. Nerdy. Speaking of, how was he?"

"Pretty busted up. Me and Gabe were sneaking around while Anna and Micheal patched him up. He hit his head pretty hard, barely concious. A bunch of cuts. Apparently, the guy, his cousin Luc as you must have known, took a knife to him. Superficial stuff, but bad nonetheless."

Dean clenched his fists in anger. He wanted to kill that ass for hurting Cas! 

_When did he become so important to you?_

_Shut up._

>>>>> **CAS** <<<<<

Castiel was awoken by a sharp sting to his cheek. He opened his eyes groggily, waiting for the blurry shapes he saw to focus and the pounding in his head to subside. 

"Good morning Vietnam." That cruel voice could only be coming from one person. Lucifer. "So the princess is awake. Good to see those pretty blues again. I was worried I might have gone too far. Well, not too much, but you know."

"Luc, what do you want?" Castiel could tell his voice was clouded with sleep and pain.

"I talked to Micheal. You new little friend was asking about you. I get the impression he doesn't like me very much. He's getting a bit to curious for my liking."

Weariness was sharpening Castiel's world, making it easier to focus on what his cousin was saying. " What do you mean Luc?" Dread filled Castiel's gut.

"I mean, you need to keep a tighter leash on your new pal. He shouldn't get so interested. He might come across some things he wouldn't want to come across.We wouldn't want history to repeat itself, would we?"

The formerly liquid dread hardened into a pure rock of horror. Cas shook his head weakly. The last thing he wanted was for Dean to await the same fate as- no, he wouldn't think about it. 

"Good. Glad we talked, but if anyone asks, I was never here. Sleep tight, cousin dear." Lucifer crept out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Painfully, Castiel rolled onto his side. A yellow post-it caught his eye.

_Get well soon._

_-The devil you know_

That night, Castiel's dreams were full of pained screams and blood dripping from a green like no other.


	6. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel deals with the aftermath of his injuries and Dean's questions.

It was another week before Dean saw Castiel. He had been asking Anna about him regularly- Balthazar was less kind. Dean got the distinct impression that Anna was flirting with him, but he found that he didn't care so much as of late. He also tried to weasle information from Sam when he went over to Gabe's again that Thursday. Other than that, Dean had no idea what his friend was going through. Lucifer was present at school, but made no acknowledgement of Dean, even though the Winchester knew something was up.

He had puzzeled over it all week. Why would Lucifer attack Castiel? What had happened during lunch that first day? Why the hell did he care so much? His questions remained unanswered until the next Tuesday, when Cas returned to school. 

Dean first saw him during homeroom at his desk, reading a book like nothing had happened. In fact, the only thing that showed from his encounter with that son of a bitch Lucifer was the healing cut on his forehead and the fading bruise form where Lucifer had most likely hit him on the side of his face. Dean sped up until he was seated next to Cas, staring at him expectantly. The Novak didn't even look up, but Dean saw him glance over from the corner of his eye and fidget, a clear sign that he was nervous.

After a few minutes of Dean's staring, Cas shut his book and turned to Dean, head bowed and hands wrining anxiously in his lap. Finally he spoke, his voice monotone. "I suppose I shold thank you for giving me a ride home last week. It was very generous of you."

"Why don't you give me some answers and we'll call it even," Dean growled. It wasn't a question.

Cas met his eyes at last, defiance and suspision clear as day. "Why do you care?" 

Dean was a bit taken aback, and he just stared at the other boy for a little while, trying to come up with an excuse, before he decided to just be honest. "I have no idea. But I  _do_ care. So will you tell me what happened?"

Cas slowly closed him book and turned to face Dean more clearly. 

"Dean-"

"Alright, class, time to start so pause your conversations and take out your notebooks."

_Damnit._

**> >>>>LATER<<<<<**

Castiel shot out of his seat like a fire had lit once the teacher dissmissed the class. He was the first one out of the room and he could hear Dean calling after him, but the crowd conceled him. He was running down the halls and pushing past people like his life depended on it. Lucifer's words echoed in his head. 

_Too curious._

Castiel ran faster.

_History to repeat._

The people had thinned out until he was alone.

_The Devil You Know._

Castiel stopped in his tracks. He had almost run straight off campus. He was down in the school basement and he had probably already missed the start of his next class. 

"Castiel?"

Castiel whirled around and came face to face with Balthazar.

"You scared me," he breathed.

"It looks like you were doing a pretty good job of that yourself. What happened?"

"Dean was asking about Lucifer." He didn't have to elaborate, because Balthazar knew what he was talkign about. Well... most of it.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Balthazar came to sit next to where his brother had slumped down on a step.

Castiel looked at him as if he was crazy. "I can't do that! Do you remember what happened last time? Or are you as crazy as Lucifer?!"

"First things first, do not  _ever_ compare me to our cousin. Secondly, what happened back then wasn't your fault. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

_Of course, because that's what all of the police were told. That's what everyone was told._

"Balthazar-"

"No, Castiel. I won't let you take blame for this. Now come on, the period is almost over. Lunch is next."

Castiel groaned.

"Yes Dean will be there."

Castiel groaned again.

"Yes you will have to talk to him."

Castiel huffed with an indigent roll of his eyes.

" _I_ think you should talk to him, but it's your choice. Even if it is a stupid choice."

When they walked into the cafeteria, Dean was already sitting at the table with Anna, looking around at the different entrances. His face lit up for a moment before settling into a hard stone, making Castiel feel as if he was about to go through an interrogation. He almost laughed, but the weight of his secrets squashed the bubble for humor in his throat.

"Cas you better-"

"Dean, stop. I am not going to answer your questions. I'm sorry, but I can't. You don't know what would happen and I won't risk it. Please Dean, don't push this."

"Cas-"

"No, Dean. Stop."

Dean threw his hands up in surrender. "Fine, but if there is another occasion where I have to carry your bleeding body home in my car, this silent treatment you have going won't fly."

"Thank you."

Oh how stupid Castiel was to think Dean would let it go so easily.


	7. Hello Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a confrontation with Lucifer and an on old face comes back to haunt Castiel.

Dean waited by the Impala after school that day for Cas. Since their plans had been interfered with by Lucifer the previous week, they were making up for it this week. Dean got an odd sense of deja vu as he leaned against his car, half expecting Cas to come out barely consious and leaning on his sibilings for support. He knew there was something Castiel wasn't telling him, and a tiny, annoying voice in the back of his mind was trying to convince him that it wasn't his place to pry into the personal matters of someone he had only met recently. That voice, however, was being drowned out by the one screaming to protect the blue-eyed boy Dean had grown so fond of in only a couple of days.   
  


"Well, well, Dean Winchester is it not?" Dean turened at the somewhat familiar, cold voice behind him. 

"Lucifer."

"Aw, you remembered," the blonde sneered. "Are you waiting for Castiel?"

"What's it to you?" Dean's voice was clipped and he folded his arms across his chest, assuming his perfected defensive-yet-challenging stance.

"What, I can't be interested in my own cousin's life?" Lucifer placed a hand over his heart on mock hurt.

"Not you."

"And you have every right to be a part of his personal business since..."

"Since I drove home his bloody body after you beat him up last week," Dean gritted through clenched teeth.

"Oh, yes, that. Well, what can you do. He was being an inconvenience." Lucifer shrugged nonchalantly and Dean resisted the urge to pound his face in. 

"I swear, I'm going to find out whatever it is you're hurting Cas for and-"

"No you won't and do you want to know why?" He didn't pause for and answer. "Because if you keep sticking yor nose where it doesn't belong..." He leaned closer and dropped his voice down to a near whisper. "...someone could get hurt."

"Are you threatening me?" Dean narrowed his eyes at the senior.

"Not you."

"Dean!" Castiel's familiar call came from just inside the school.

A sadistic grin broke out on Lucifer's face. "Speak of the devil."

Dean turned when Cas came out the door. He swirled back around to face Lucifer again, but the psycho was gone, disapeared into the wind. 

"Hello, Dean. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, yeah," Dean murmmered, glancing worridly at Cas as he walked around the car to the drivers side. 

"Are you okay, Dean?" Apparently his worrying did not go unoticed. 

"I'm fine, Cas." Dean swiftly changed the subject. "Listen, my place is sort of a mess, and I'm starving. My aunt and uncle own a small dive-in on the other side of town. It's called the Roadhouse. You mind hanging there?"

"Of course not," Castiel replied.

"Great," Dean grinned. Castiel gave him a completely-defiently-most-absolutely-not-heart-stopping smile in return and Dean could almost forget about Lucifer's looming threat.

**> >>>><<<<<**

The bell above the door to the Roadhouse jingled as they entered. It was a quiet hour, only a few older men sitting around and playing pool or drinking. Dean knew from working here over the summer that it could get very busy. It was right on the edge of town so hungry people drving in or out would stop in for a burger and there were always sad old men drinking at closing time. 

Dean slid into a small booth near the back and Cas sat down in front of him. Ellen was over in a matter of seconds, two tall water glasses in hand.

"Dean! Glad you stopped in. Who's your friend?"

Dean smiled over at Cas, who looked a bit striken with her sudden apperence and brazen attitude. "This is Castiel. Cas, this is my aunt Ellen."

"Oh! So this is the boy you don't shut up about!" Dean and Castiel flushed bright red. "I see what you mean. He is quite a looker." They both flushed more. 

"Ellen," Dean hissed, banging his head on the table. 

"Oh, hush." She held her hand out to Cas. "Pleased to meet you."

Castiel respectfully shook her hand. "You as well."

"You like burgers, Castiel?"

"Yes, ma'm."

"Burgers it is then, on the house." She smiled and hustled off to the kitchen without further ado.

"I'm sorry about her," Dean groaned.

Cas chuckled. "It's fine. She is very nice." He sipped on his water before asking, "Do you see her and your uncle often?"

"Yeah, we live with them," he answered. At Castiel's confused stare, Dean decided to launch into his life story. 

"My mom was killed in a house fire when I was young, four actually. My dad was pretty broken up about it, so he decided to move out of town. He never really decided where to stay though. Kept us moving throughout the country, living in various motels. Finally he decided- correctly- that he wasn't fit to be a parent. Over the summer he dropped us off with Bobby- my uncle- and Ellen. He said he would see us again, but we haven't heard from him again."

"I'm so sorry about your mother," Castiel said with a sympathetic look, but it was completely sincere.  "You said us and we. Do you have sibilings?"

Dean nodded. "I've got a twelve year old brother Sam. He's really smart." Dean swelled with pride talking about Sam.

"Oh, I believe I've met him. Is he friends with a Gabriel?"

Dean nodded again.

"Yes, I saw him around my house around my house a few times. He is very nice."

Dean smiled. "How about you? What's your family like?"

"Well, you've met some of them. I have three sibilings. Uriel is the oldest, but he's in collage so he doesn't live around here anymore. Balthazar and Anna are twins- even though they look nothing alike- and they are both in thier junior year. I'm the youngest. My mother also died, during my birth. My father... well, he loves his work... and his alcohol. We moved in with my cousins a few years ago. My uncle Zachariah and my aunt Naomi take care of us. They have four kids too. You have met their set of twins Micheal and Lucifer. Their is also Rapheal, who is in junior year. And, of course, Gabriel, who is twelve."

"I'm sorry about your mother," Dean echoed, still sincere. 

The rest of the time they talked about nothing and everything, from classes to music, to what celebrity they would sacrifice if the world ever came to that (they both said Justin Beiber). Once their food came they just talked some more. It was a few, blissful hours where they were carefree.

**> >>>><<<<<**

Castiel sat in his room after Dean dropped his off, staring at the wall with a stupid smile on his face. For once it seemed like everything could be okay, like he could have a friend and not worry about Lucifer. 

His happy bubble was broken by the doorbell ringing insistantly. He got up and walked to open it. The door swung open to reveal one of the last people Castiel ever wanted to see again. 

"Hello Cassy. Miss me?"


	8. Satan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally gets the answers he has been asking for when an old friend comes to visit Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are finally getting some back story! Enjoy!

"Hello Cassy. Miss me?"

Castiel stared at the face he never wanted to see again. Visions came rushing at him, screams and blood and pain. The man in front of him just smirked and stood there, completely nonchalant, as if he was just a regular old friend of Castiel's regular old cousin with a regular old reason for coming back. But none of that was true. This man was anything but regular and if he was back that could only mean Castiel was in for a world of trouble.

"Well, are you going to let me in?"

Castiel didn't move, he couldn't. He stood there in the door, struck immobile.

"Come on, Castiel, don't be rude. Let. Me.  _In."_ The man moved up close to Castiel, his face the only thing the boy could see, snarling like an animal. Castiel moved back to get away from him, and that was all the room the other needed to push past him and into the house. That was when it truly set in with Castiel that this man, this  _monster,_ was here and he was  _in his house._

Castiel mustered up all the nerves he had and whispered, "What are you doing here?"

The man laughed and turned to face him. "Well, well, look who got his voice back."

Castiel repeated, "What are you _doing here?_ "

"What, a guy can't visit his old friends? Speaking of, where is Lucifer? he told me to meet him here."

" _Lucifer_  called you here?!" Castiel was on the verge of a major panic attack. If Lucifer had called him here, that meant something bad was going to happen. Something  _really bad._

"Yes I did."

Castiel whirled around and there was Lucifer, leaning against the now closed door, smiling like the cat who ate the canary. It was official, Castiel was trapped between two devils.

"Why?" His voice was a mere whisper, and he could hear it shaking in terror.

"To remind you of exactly what I am capable of, and exactly what I will do to keep my life in-tact. My dear friend is here so that your remember what will happen if your little pet gets too close."

_Dean._

Castiel didn't think, didn't consider anything. He was pushing past Lucifer and out the door before his brain caught up. Lucifer didn't stop him, but the sinister laugh he let out as Castiel ran down the porch steps followed him all the way down the street, chilling his bones as he ran. Castiel sprinted down the block, across the street and he didn't stop. He only knew that he had to get to Dean, he had to warn him before it was too late.

Castiel had ran five blocks in his adrenaline burst before it occured to him tha he had no idea where Dean lived. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number he hated to admit to himself he memorized. It rung six times and Castiel's fear grew with each shrill. He bounced in place, as if he could shake the worry out.

There was a click on the other end before Dean's cheerful voice came over the line, "Hello?"

Castiel let out a heavy sigh of relief, feeling as if a pile of brcks had been lifted from his chest just by knowing Dean was okay. But he wasn't safe, not yet. "Dean?"

"Cas? Hey, buddy, what's up?"

"Dean, I need to talk to you  _right now,_ " Castiel rushed out.

"Uh, yeah, okay. Are you at your house, I can pick you up there-"

" _No!_ Dean, do not go to my house, no matter what! Okay?!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Dean sounded really worried. "Where are you?"

Castiel checked the street signs. "I'm at the corner of West End and 2nd.  _Hurry!_ "

**> >>>>DEAN<<<<<**

Dean stared at the phone in his hand. What could have spooked Castiel into his impromtou phone call? Did Lucifer do something? Was he okay? Dean pushed his computer aside and rushed out of his room, pulling his shoes on as he made his way down the stairs.

"Bobby! I'm going out!" He grabbed his jacket and was pulling it on when his uncle came out of the living room.

"Where you goin', boy? Your Aunt Ellen jus' finished dinner."

"Bobby, I'm sorry, but I really have to go." Dean fumbled around for his car keys and wallet as Ellen came out.

"Who set fire to your pants?" She was wiping her hands on a dish towel, her brows creasing with worry.

"It's Cas, he needs me. He's in some sort of trouble."

"Fine, go. Make sure he's all right," she called after him as Dean bolted out the door, barely remembering to shut it behind him.

Dean jumped into the Impala and sped away. His mind was clouded with worry. What happened to Cas?

He made it to the corner of West End and 2nd in less than five minutes. Castiel was standing there, his hands shoved into his pockets. He must have been cold, standing out in the cool night air with no jacket. Dean, parkedcar and jumped out, moving around to the sidewalk. Castiel ran up to him and threw his arms around Dean's neck. Dean stumbled back a bit with the force of it. He was starled to find Castiel muttering 'your okay' over and over again with his face burried into his neck. He was even more surprised to find a few of Castiel's tears dampening his neck. The smaller boy was shaking, and it didn't seem like it was just from the cold. Dean brought one arm around Castiel's waist and the other up around his back to cup his thick mess of dark hair. Dean held him there, safe and in his arms in the middle of the sidewalk.

**> >>>>CASTIEL<<<<<**

Castiel could not explain what had come over him. When he saw Dean, the relief had been so powerful that he could not stop himself from running over and throwing himself into the taller boy's arms. He was whispering his relief over and over again, embarassed to find himself crying. He was surprised when Dean arapped his arms around him and held him there safe and sound, but it felt good, he felt safe and as if Lucifer could never hurt them. But of course, he could.

Castiel pulled away and moved out of Dean's grasp. No matter how much he wanted to stay, their entire problem was that Castiel was getting too close, and Dean was in danger because of it. He had to keep Dean safe. Dean reached out, presumably to pull him close again, but Castiel just backed away, not missing the flicker of hurt in Dean's eyes that caused his own heart to break.

"Dean, listen to me. You have to get out of town. You have to leave as soon as possible. It's not safe here."

"What the hell are you talking about Cas?"

"It's Lucifer. He's more dangerous than you realize Dean. You're not safe as long as you're hear and as long as you are near me. You have to stay away."

Dean practically growled, "What the hell do you mean?! You call me out in the middle of the evening to tell me to stay away?! No! Castiel you have to tell me what's going on! You have kept quiet about whatever the hell is going on with you and Lucifer so far, but you can't tell me to just skip town, leave everything behind, just pack up and go without giving me a reason. You have to tell me Cas!"

Castiel stared up at him. He knew Dean was right. He couldn't ask something like this without giving him a reason. It looked like telling Dean was going to be the only thing that would scare him into leaving Castiel forever.

Castiel took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll tell you everything."

**> >>>>DEAN<<<<<**

Dean's brain was literally spinning. He could feel it. It was spinning in his head. Cas was asking him to leave? Come again? Dean couldn't just up and leave town. He had his family to think about. But now Cas was going to tell him everything. He was going to tell him why Dean had to stay away from him. Which, by the way, ouch. Dean felt like there was something stabbing him in the heart when Castiel pulled away from him, stepped out of his reach when he tried to pull him back. Which made no sense. He had no reason to feel that way. Cas was just a friend, one he had only known for less than two weeks. He had lived sixteen years of his life with out Castiel Novack, he could live sixteen more. So why didn't it feel that way?

Castiel brought Dean from his thoughts. "I can't tell you here. We have to go somewhere that there is no chance of Lucifer seeing us."

Dean nodded. "I have an idea. Come on." He moved around the car to the drivers seat while Castiel slid into the passenger's. Dean immediatly cranked the heat up all the way to warm a shivering Castiel.

They drove in silence all the way to a large field around the outskirts of town. Dean had found it when he was driving around to clear his head after Sam pissed him off one time. He pulled in to the long grass and parked the car, leaving the heat on but turned down now that Castiel had warmed up. He turned to face the other, one knee up on the seat. Castiel did not look at him though, bu instead kept staring down at his lap.

"Now is the part when you tell me your dramatic backstory and I say 'Come again?'," Dean joked, but Castiel did not return the sentiment.

"Lucifer is a drug-lord," he blurted.

"Come again?"

"He is a drug-lord. They call him Satan. He sells and manufatures his own drugs, mostly in large cities using his druggie followers as representatives. He has an acomplice, Nick Pellegrino, who makes the drug. It's called Armaggedeon. It twists the mind, making a person much more angry and reckless. I found out about his business a few years ago, when I was fourteen. He beat me up, and told me it would be even worse if I didn't keep quiet about it all. I didn't say anything to our family, or anyone else for a long time. Then I met this boy.

"His name was Samandriel. We called him Alfie. He was the closest friend I ever had. I felt like I could trust him with even my darkest secret. So I did. I told him everything about Lucifer and his business. Alfie tried to convince me that we should go to the authorities, but I was too scared of What Lucifer would do to me, and even more scared of what he would do to Alfie. But he wouldn't listen to me. Samandriel took matters into his own hands. That was when things got even worse. Out of the frying pan, and into Hell."


	9. The First Time Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel finally opens up to Dean about what happened to Samandriel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the questions are finally answered. I hope you like it. Tell me what you thought of Castiel's backstory.
> 
> All the italicized writing is flashback-mode.

_"Castiel? Are you here?" The familiar voice bekoned from Castiel's front door. It had swung open silently, left ajar after Lucifer dashed away almost minutes earlier._

_"Up here," Castiel croaked out in a hoarse voice, but the faint sound traveled enough that the boy downstairs heard him. There were light footsteps on the stairs and down the hall, until he stood in the doorway to Castiel's bedroom._

_Samandriel 'Alfie' Milton was a lanky teenager by all means of the word. There was hardly any muscle surrounding his long and thin bones, and he was a bit taller than most of the boys thee age, but not by much. He looked as if he was still twelve, and most people thought he was. Alfie met Castiel Novak when he had moved to East Asher in the middle of eighth grade. The two hit it off immediatly, for no reason in particular other than Castiel was a closed off hermit and Alfie had the startling ability to make people feel like they could trust him with anything._

Castiel paused in his storytelling to study Dean carefully. "You remind me of him, you know. You both make me feel safe and as if I can trust you. When I'm around you, both of you, I feel as if everything with fix itself. I mean, I've only known you for a couple of weeks, I shouldn't feel like it is okay to trust you with all of this, but for some reason I do..."

"I can relate," Dean replied. 

Castiel continued.

_Samandriel had been Castiel's best friend for a little over a year now, and in that time they had grown impossibly close. Only a few weeks ago Castiel had come clean to Alfie about what Lucifer was doing in his spare time._ _Alfie had almost felt like it wasn't real, like it was a dream. He was missing the reality of it. Since Castiel opened up to him he hadn't told anyone, never uttering a word because he knew how much it would break Castiel, possibly ruining him from ever opening up to anyone again._

_It only truly hit him with the force of an eighteen-wheeler loaded with bricks and sandbags when he was standing in Castiel's doorway. The Novak boy was lying on the floor of his bedroom, his face bloodied and his arm bent and an unnatural angle. It was unnerving to say the least. The usually white carpet was stained with blood spaltters in a few places. Alfie rushed to kneel beside his friend, who was barely lucid._

_"Castiel? Come on, Cassie, stay with me here. Don't go to sleep,"  he repeated, almost as a mantra to help Castiel stay awake. He helped the wary and beaten boy to his feet and supported him as they stumbled over to the connected bathroom. He propped Castiel on the closed toilet seat, and the brunet slumped over immediatly, barely conscious._

_Samandriel easily navigated the medical cabinet to find and Ace bandage and some band-aids. He knew how to handle thses situations, what with having a nurse as a mother and being the middle child of three very rowdy boys. He dabbed the blood off of Castiel's face gently with a soft washcloth and gingerly placed band-aids of various sized over the cut that were still oozing blood, careful to dab on anti-infective cream to stop an infection from taking hold._

_Alfie finally took Castiel's arm in his hands, being as gentle as if it was a dying kitten he was holding. Castiel winced as a jolt of pain struck through him when his friend tried to move the apendege ever so slightly. Samandriel too careful note of this and stopped his movement. He wrapped the Ace bandage around the arm as best as he could, but they would have to get him a cast._

_Almost as a gift from God, the low humm of Micheal's car penetrated the house as he pulled into the driveway. Alfie wrapped his lima-bean arms around Castiel's waist to help him stand, and all but carried him against his side as they decended the steps. Micheal had just entered the house, but abandoned his school-bag in the open doorway when he saw the state of Castiel._

_"What the hell happened?! Cassie, are you alright?!" Micheal ran up to them and easily picked up his cousin, freeing Samandriel to finish his decend._

_Castiel let out a incoherent gurgle which Samandriel translated. "He's fine... sort of. Minor cuts and bruising, but his arm is defiently broken. He needs to go to a doctor."_

_Micheal nodded brusquely and carried Castiel out the door and to his car to lay him down across the backseat. Alfie follwed quickly, barely closing the passenger door before Micheal sped away._

"Most of it is sort of a blur after that. I don't remember much. The people at the hospital gave me some painkillers. My aunt Naomi, Micheal's mother, works there so they were able to give me treatment without my father there. He was working on another one of his books at the time. Alfie told me that Micheal had been asking about who beat me up, but he said he didn't know, even though it didn't take a genius to figure out it was Lucifer. The two of us were home alone at the time."

Dean inturrupeted him breifly, "Why did Lucifer attack you that time?"

"I still to this day don't know exactly how, but he found out I told Alfie and threatened to hurt him. I tried to stand up to him, even pushed him, but he attacked me. It wasn't even the worse of his beatings," Castiel noted with a bitter laugh.

"What do you mean?" Deep down, Dean wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he had to. 

Castiel sighed quietly and steeled his nerves before answering. "There have been times when he comes home high on Armageddon. He was skilled at keeping control around the others, but since I knew, he saw this as a free pass to take any rage the drug gave him or inhanced out on me."

Dean clenched the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white and the bone was visible. "What happened after that. I'm guessing that wasn't the worse."

Castiel let out another hallow, chilling laugh. "You know how I said out of the frying pan and into Hell? That was the frying pan."

_"Castiel, we have to tell the authorities. Lucifer is hurting you, he is a criminal," Samandriel pleaded. He stood in front of Castiel at the park, the midnight moon the only light illuminating their furious faces. They were in the worst fight they ever had over what to do with Lucifer. Alfie was adamant about telling the police and 'bringing Lucifer down', but Castiel was equally stubborn about keeping quiet._

_He knew the right thing to do would be to agree with Samandriel and turn Lucifer in, but he was terrified. He was afraid of what Lucifer would do to them, horrified by all the ways this could backfire and cause them catastrophic consequences. If all of that made him a coward, than at least he was an alive coward._

_"No, Alfie. Lucifer has already threatened us, and trust me on this, he is not the 'all-bark-no-bite'  type. We won't be safe."_

_"The police will keep us under protection," Alfie resoned._

_"I have withheld information on a major criminal. I could be arrested!"_

_"You were being threatened, you won't be held against it. Anyway, it won't matter."_

_Castiel tensed up. His eyes blew up even more in the dark. He whispered cautiously, "WHat do you mean?"_

_Alfie seemed pleased with himself as he folded his arms over his chest. "I called in an anonymous tip to the police before I met you here. They should be taking Lucifer into custody as we speak."_

_Castiel breathed in deeply and let it out in one long shudder. If something went wrong, and it awlays did, there was no telling what Lucifer would deign to do... but if it worked? If Lucifer really was caught and out of Castiel's life forever. The entire nightmare would be over. This would either be the end of Castiel's nightmare, or his life._

_"Well, well, well. Is that what you did now?" A chilling voice spoke from the darkness behind Samandriel and they both instantly recognized it. Lucifer emerged from the shadows and they faced him. Castiel could feel his heart beating erratically and deafeningly slow at the same time._

_Samandriel stuttered out, "What are you doing here? Why aren't you in custody?"_

_Lucifer laughed, sending shivers down Castiel's spine all the way to his toenails. "Do you really think I become a druglord by being sloppy? Oh, dear, sweet, naive Samandriel. I am **never**  sloppy." Another figure emerged from the shadows beside him and for the first time, Castiel laid eyes upon the sick man that was Nick Pellegrino. "My good friend here, who so kindly manufactures my infamous drugs, is also very bright when it comes to computer hacking. We had tapped both of your phones so we would know if you called the police." **  
**_

_"I called from my house phone," Samandriel whispered, horrorstruck._

_"See. Never sloppy. After you dialed we were alerted and it was the simplist of matters to divert the call from the ploice to a burner cell. EAPD phones never even rang."_

_"What now?" Castiel, though whispering, was shockingly unafriad in that moment. If Lucifer was going to kill him, so be it._

_"I dispose of the threat."_

"Lucifer had more men surrounding us. They grabbed us and tied us up. They brought us to an abandoned warehouse. Lucifer... he drugged Samandriel," Castiel croaked.

"Armageddon?"

"No. He made a new drug, very similar to Armageddon so that no difference would show up in an autopsy. He called it Croatoan."

_Lucifer held up a shiny syringe filled with a opaque red drug. he tapped the needle twice, his hard fingernails meeting the metal in a hostile clicking. He smiled like a sociopath. "This wonder here, I call Croatoan. Another fine creation of the wonderful Mr. Pellegrino."_

_"Oh stop it, you're too kind," the 'chemist' mock-blushed. His voice was sneering and cold, much like Lucifer's, but in a more crazy leering way whereas the druglord's was a sort of calm chill._

_"This beauty puts a person into an almost zombie-like state, but with all the rage components of my best-seller. The user is extremely prone to suggestion whilst under our beautiful spell. It was incredibly hard to make, so I hope you recognize what an honor it is," he sneered at Samandriel. He had been stalking increasingly closer to the gangly boy, and was now leaning in his face, the syringe waving in-between them. Castiel had been dragged over to the side to watch._

_Without anymore preamble, Lucifer plunged the syringe into Samandriel's neck and injected the drug into his bloodstream. Both boys cried out, Samandriel in pain and Castiel in fear, begging for mercy for his best friend._

_"I would tell you to be quiet, but there is no one to hear you and I just love the symphony."_

"The drugs overtook Samandriel. Lucifer wasn't lying when he said he would be prone to suggestion. "

_Lucifer slid a gun over to Samandriel. "Kill yourself."_

"He did," Castiel whispered. 

Dean leaned back to take in a deep shuddering breath. Castiel winced, thinking it meant Dean was horrified by this. The Winchester immediatly perceived the small movement and placed a comforting hannd over Castiel's.

"That's not the end," Castiel whispered again. He seemed incapable of increasing his volume even a little bit.

"You don't have to go on. This can't be easy-"

"No. I... I need to finish this."

"They beat me up. Made it look as if it had been Samandriel who did it. Lucifer made it seem as if one of his henchmen had found me in the park while they were walking home from work. They brought me to a hospital to get treated. 

_Castiel awoke with a sharp sting to his cheek. He tried to open his eyes, but found that a heavy, cold hand was covering them._

_"Good Morning Vietnam," Lucifer's chilling voice called out. "Remember this Castiel. I let you live not out of mercy, but because I want you to be forever haunted by the knowledge that you and only you are the reason for your dear friend Samandriel's death. This will serve as a constant reminder for you not to tell **anyone**  about my secret. You wouldn't want to be responsible for anymore deaths would you?"_

_Castiel shook his head quickly._

_"That's what I thought. Sleep tight."_

_The hand removed itself from his eyes, but by the time Castiel blinked them open and could see past the harsh hospital whiteness, Lucifer was gone, vanished into the wind. A yellow post-it caught his eye._

_Get well soon._

_-The devil you know_

Castiel took another deep, shuddering breath (that seemed to be becoming a frequent occurance) and turned to face Dean for the first time. His eyes were filled with tears from the terrible memories. 

Dean's own eyes were misting over at the sheer pain that shone through those blue eyes. A few tears escaped Castiel and Dean brought a tumb up to gingerly wipe them away. His hand stayed on Castiel's face, gently cradling his cheek. The smaller man leaned into the gesture. 

"Cas. Thank you for telling me. I can't imagine what you have gone through. If you need me, I'll be here for you. Always. Okay?"

Castiel nodded, more tears escaping. 

"What Lucifer did was sick and horrible. He is a monster. What happened was in  _ **no** **way**_  your fault. You had something terrible thrown onto your shoulders and you trusted someone with it. Trusting someone is  _ **never**_  a bad thing. Understand?"

Castiel was hesitant, and he nodded again. He still carried guilt for what happened to Samandriel, but maybe Dean was right and it wasn't all his fault. 

"If I ever get the chance, I'm going to break ever bone in that monster's body," Dean growled more to himself than anyone but Castiel shot upright in panic.

"No! You can't! He'll hurt you Dean!"

"Whoa, buddy, Cas calm down!" Dean brought his hands up to Castiel's shoulders, just shy of his neck. "Fine, I won't attack him."

"Dean," Castiel said, slightly calmer but still not relaxed. He continued, "you have to promise me you won't do anything. I... I can't loose you too."

Dean nodded. "I promise I won't do anything."

Dean thought,  _'Loopholes, I love you.'_  Because like hell he was going to sit around and let Castiel hurt. 

Not when he was in love with him.


	10. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a plan to get Lucifer put away for good, but he is going to need help.

Dean paced nervously across the floor of his small bedroom. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Turn. One Two. Three. Four. Five. Turn. One. Two. Three. Turn. One two three turn. One two three turn. One two three one two three one two three.

He sat heavily on the couch. Rubbing his eyes, Dean thought back on everything that had happened in the past day and tried to line it all up until it made sense.

Fact 1: Castiel had just told Dean about the horrific past shared between him, Lucifer, and an old friend of his named Samandriel.

Fact 2: Lucifer was a monstrous dickhead.

Fact 3: Castiel was still shaken up about what happened and needed Dean to be there for him.

Fact 4: Castiel had asked Dean not to do anything about what he knew.

Fact 5: Fact 4 is redundant and in no way pertinent to what Dean is planning to do.

Fact 6: Dean loved Castiel.

_ What the hell is wrong with this town?  _

Dean sat up straighter when his bedroom door opened again. Castiel stepped in timidly, looking almost afraid even though Dean was no threat. The Novak boy had been in the bathroom, claiming to just want to wash up even though Dean knew he really just needed some time to gather his nerves. Dean could totally respect his wanting to be alone for a few minutes. Even if it made Dean want to swaddle him in a big fluffy blanket and curl up with him in a corner until all the hurtful things were gone from his life. But he could totally respect it.

"Hey Cas. Um, I was thinking I would take the couch tonight," Dean suggested not at all awkwardly. Not. At. All.

Dean had quickly offered for Cas to stay the night at his house. Although, in all honesty, it was more of an order. At first Castiel had refused, saying that he didn't want to be a burden and that Lucifer most likely wouldn't try anything since Michael was going to be home. Dean had ignored all that and pressed the matter until Castiel finally relented. Dean probably would have followed him home anyway. Since Castiel had opened up to him about what Lucifer did, Dean had been feeling just a bit protective. Just a bit meaning it took almost five minutes of deep meditation to convince himself not to handcuff them together and drive for two hours to throw the key into a lake.

"Dean, no," Castiel shook his head, responding to Dean's earlier suggestion. "I won't be any more of a burden."

Dean sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you? You are _not_ being a burden. I want you here, Cas. Okay? I _need_ you here. I don't want you in the same house as him."

"Dean, I have to go back there at some point. We both live there."

"Move in with me?"

Castiel snorted. "Stop being ridiculous, I'm too tired for it."

"Fine, let's get you to sleep. And I'm staying on the couch," Dean insisted.

Castiel grumbled and groaned but didn't put up much of a fight. He wasn't kidding when he said he was tired. It was understandable, really. It had been an emotionally trying day for both of them. Dean carefully pulled up the blankets to Castiel's chin. It was only when the other did not protest to the baby-ish act that Dean realized he was asleep. And if Dean pressed a light kiss to Castiel's forehead before he went to the couch, that was his business.

** >>>><<<< **

Dean woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon wafting into the couch. He blinked sleep from his eyes and tried to recall what was going on. Then it all came crashing down on him. Castiel had poured his heart out, bared to Dean all his scars, and spent the night in his house. Also, there was bacon.

Dean sat up and groggily padded over to the kitchen, wrapping a blanket from the couch around his shoulders on the way to fight off the early morning chill. He stopped at the kitchen and leaned on the doorframe, trying to memorize the scene before him.

Castiel stood at the stove, humming some sort of tune and flipping a pancake. He was barefoot and his hair was a complete mess. He was _there._ Dean found himself thinking that it was a pretty good way to wake up, with Cas there and bacon cooking. He had to suppress a dreamy sigh.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel greeted and Dean wondered how long the other had known he was just standing there, watching.

"Mornin' Cas. You made bacon?"

The brunet shrugged. "I wanted some way to express my gratitude and repay you for what you did for me yesterday.”

"You don't need to repay me for anything, Cas." He sat at the island as Castiel distributed a pancake onto a plate and slid it in front of him.  Dean took a greedy bite and the gods sang. Cas was a damn good cook.

_ "DID SOMEONE MAKE BACON?!"  _ Jo's thunderous voice rang down from the upper floor and in under a second there was a blonde bullet hurtling down the stairs and into the kitchen. She looked around wildly, her destructive bed-head and manic grin making her look for all the world like a rabid, bacon-eating monster. Which, to be fair, wasn't too far from the truth.

Dean had forgotten there were other people in the house that might be out to steal his bacon.

"That would be me," Castiel said with a shy wave. "It will be finished cooking shortly."

Jo looked about two seconds away from hugging him.

"You're my new best friend. By the way, who are you?"

"I'm Castiel, I'm a friend of Dean's," He introduced, holding out the hand that wasn't pouring new batter for her to shake.

Jo took the hand and smiled sweetly, but once his back was turned, the look she sent Dean announced a very clear message. _'Friend?'_

_ 'Yes, Jo, just friend,'  _ he glowered back at her.

She held her hand up in surrender, but her grin told otherwise. Dean was about to send her a one digit message, but was interrupted by Sam, who had calmly came down in the midst of it all.

"Hey, Dean, hey Jo,' he said sleepily.

"Morning, Sammy," Dean smiled through a mouthful of pancakes.

Sam took in Castiel curiously before his face lit up with recognition. "You delivered pizza!"

Dean laughed, remembering their first encounter.

"Pizza and bacon! That's it, I'm keeping you," Jo mumbled to no one in particular.

"That's right, I did. You must be Sam. Dean talks about you a lot."

"You too." Sam fell silent, but piped up again shortly after. "You're a Novak, right? With the cousins?"

Dean and Castiel tensed simultaneously and shared a quick glance.

Sam elaborated, "Gabe? He's in my grade, and I've been over his house a few times. You probably don't remember, you were pretty banged up. What happened anyway?"

Castiel glanced over at Dean again and answered quietly, "Just a misunderstanding."

Sam shrugged. "Well, whoever it was, you should probably stay away from them."

Dean lunged at the opening. "I agree. Stay away from them. _No matter what._ "

Castiel glared at him as he flipped Jo's pancake expertly, but Dean held his gaze, challenging him. "Just eat your damn pancake," he muttered when Sam and Jo were too busy talking to each other to hear.

** >>>>><<<<< **

After they finished breakfast, Dean helped Castiel clean up the kitchen. They worked around each other in silence, until Dean broke the fragile glass.

"Sam's right you know," he said softly. He continued despite Cas' sigh. "You need to stay away from Lucifer, at last for a little while."

"Dean, I appreciate your concern, but it is not needed, and not because I am about to go on a picnic with him in an area of secluded woods. I plan to stay well out of his way, as much as I can. I don't need you to tell me to."

"I know, Cas, but I worry about you," Dean replied.

"You don't need to."

_ I just don't want to lose you,  _ Dean thought.

They fell back into silence.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said as they were drying their hands. Castiel hummed in acknowledgement so he continued, "I have something to do today. Are you planning on going back to your house?"

"What, did you plan on following me and hiding in a tree behind my room?"

"No."

_ Yes. _

Castiel chuckled. "No, Dean, I do not. I made plans earlier this week to study for a science test with Hester at her house. I'm staying there for dinner."

Dean nodded, pleased. "You want to sleep over again tonight?"

Castiel silently deliberated for a moment before nodding. "Sure, but I demand that you don't take the couch."

** >>>>><<<<< **

After dropping Castiel off at Hester's house (read: mansion), Dean drove over to the park, on a mission. He tried not to imagine Lucifer creeping towards Castiel out of the tree line, tried not to imagine the horror-struck look on the boy’s face. He really tried. It didn't stop his heart from breaking.

Dean found the trampled-grass marked path that wound through the thick of the forest near the edge. He followed the path all the way to a small clearing. In it, about a dozen or so people milled about, some sleeping, most smoking or drinking and sitting on a make-shift bench from a fallen tree. Leaning against the uprooted trunk was the person he was looking for, one Meg Masters.

She spotted him as soon as made his way over to her, the others not really paying him more attention than a glance.

"Dean Winchester," she whistled. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I need to know where to find someone. Crowley McLeod."

Her face soured at the name. "What makes you think I know? I don't know if you've heard, but me and the King, we aren't exactly friends."

"No, but you know where I can find him. That's all I need, Meg."

She looked him up and down cautiously, before huffing. "Fine. I don't know where he would be at this time of day, but I do know that there is this old bar near the edge of town in the other direction of your precious Roadhouse. The place is all run down, barely even open. No one goes there except Crowley, his goonies and the people looking for him. At least a few of the minions are always hanging around, no matter what time, even if Crowley isn't there. If you turn up and tell one you're looking for the boss, they'll pass the message along. By the end of the day, he'll show up somewhere."

"Where's the bar exactly?"

"There's not street name, but if you go out past all of the houses, you should see it. It's by an intersection. Just follow the scent of scumbag."

"Funny, that's how I found this place," Dean deadpanned.

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Dean-o. You might just get food poisoning," she said darkly.

Dean narrowed his eyes at her. "Is that a threat?"

She smiled sweetly up at him. "Say hi to Crowley for me."

"Actually, I lied there is one more thing I want." He pointed at an unlabeled, half empty bottle of red liquid laying by her side. "Is that Armageddon?"

She looked over at it and back at him. "Why, as a matter of fact it is!" Every syllable dripped with malice. "You've heard about it?"

"A little. I need that bottle."

She laughed. "What would you give me for it?"

Dean dug his money from his wallet and held out a hundred dollar bill. Meg whistled.

"That's a lot of money for not a lot of product. Not that I'm complaining, but I thought you were smarter than that."

"This is for the Armageddon and your silence. I'm not exactly eager for Satan to know I was here. Do we have a deal?"

"Good as gold." She took the money and handed him the bottle in return.

Dean turned to leave without parting words, but she spoke up before he could.

"So, tell me Dean? What do you think of our small little town?"

Dean sighed. "There are a lot of problems."

"Ah, but you see, that's the thing. The smaller a town is, the more problems it can fit. The scientists are baffled. Take care, Dean."

** >>>>><<<<< **

Dean found the bar just like Meg said he would, after the entire view was fields. It loomed above the knee-high grass, two stories of busted windows, chipped paint and dangling shingles. No sound was coming from it when Dean pulled up, but as he locked the car behind him, he could have sworn he saw a young-ish face peeking out of one of the shattered windows before darting back down.

The interior was no better than the outside. There were only a few tables set up, and even those looked ready to topple at any moment. The bar was covered by a fine layer of dirt, and the rack of pool sticks was infested with cobwebs. The bar patrons, if they could really even be called that, varied in ages from children not yet even out of primary school to an old lady sitting at the bar. Some of the patrons were scary. Some looked unassuming but had a glint in their eyes like they wanted to rip you to pieces.

Everyone in the bar was silent and looking at the doorway where Dean stood. Their eyes followed him as he walked over to the bar, where the tender, a man who looked to be in his 50s but could squash Sammy like a bug, was leaning against his rack of alcohol. It didn't seem like they got many new faces.

When Dean reached the bar, he tried hard not to look intimidated, drawing up to his full height. "I'm looking for Crowley McLeod."

No one blinked. The bartender stared Dean down and said in a dark voice, "He's not here right now. Talk to the red-head." He pointed at a girl sitting alone at a table with hair like fire and a look that could send monsters running for their mothers.

Dean made his way over to her, taking in her leather jacket, combat boots, and the air of superiority and a dark, twisted sense of regal power she emanated. She looked up at him through thick lashes and it was clearly his turn to speak.

"My name is Dean Winchester. I need to talk to Crowley."

She nodded stiffly. "I'll pass the message on."

And that was the end of it. Dean strode out, trying not to fidget when he felt twenty or so pairs of eyes tracking his every receding moment. When he was safely out the door and in his car, Dean wasted no time in turning the ignition and driving away, trying not to seem too eager or hesitant. It was done. Now all he had to do was wait.

Dean drove all the way across town to a bar where he felt much safer. He had told Ellen that morning before he left that he would take a shift at the Roadhouse to help with the Sunday rush. She had eagerly accepted his offer and he told her he would be there when he finished speaking to a friend of his about a school project.

He pulled in at promptly 4 o'clock, when there was still only a handful of customers. That was how he spent his next hour, serving drinks, taking orders, even chatting with some of the regulars; it was a grand show as the seconds in his brain ticked down to a time he wasn't sure of. It was five o'clock on the dot when a short, some-what plump boy who was only a year older than him, even if he dressed in a black suit, slid into the barstool in front of him.

"Crowley," Dean said by way of greeting.

"Hello, Dean," the senior said, his voice thick with a Scottish accent. "I hear you were looking for me?"

Dean nodded and braced his arms on the bar. "I was. I need your help with something."

"If it's homework, I'm not your guy."

"Trust me, it's a bit more complex than that. Can we talk outside?" Dean was not eager for his aunt or any number of the people in the bar to overhear what he was about to ask Crowley.

The other nodded and they walked out, Dean signaling to Ellen that he was talking a break. When they got to Dean's car in the back parking lot, safely away from any curious ears, they stopped.

"So, tell me Dean, what brought you to Crossroads?" Dean mentally filed away that the bar was apparently dubbed Crossroads, even though there was no sign. "My sister tells me that you asked about me."

"Sister?"

 Crowley sighed, already seemingly exasperated. "The red-head? Abaddon. My dear, sweet, vicious older sister. She told me you wanted to see me?" 

"Yeah, I need you to take care of someone for me."

"If you want someone dead you have to talk to the bartender at Crossroads, he'll handle that situation. I don't like to be involved with assassinations."

"No, I don't want someone dead, I want them jailed."

"Then call the police. Waste their time, not mine."

"That didn't work. I need you to make sure it does the second time. And believe me, you'll want to help me with this."

"And why is that?"

"Because, the person I want you to catch is the drug lord Satan."

Crowley laughed. "You want me to catch Satan? No one has ever been able to do that!"

"I know." _All too well._ "But this is different. I know who Satan really is."

Crowley raised his eye brows. "Who?"

"Lucifer Novak. Not only is he a drug lord, but he is a murderer too," Dean told him.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, and if you get him arrested and put on trial, there is a witness who can testify to both."

Crowley thought for a moment before nodding. "Very well. It should be done within a few days, but it will be hard to find evidence. If I have been sitting next to him in history for years, and I have had no idea, he must be good."

"I have something," Dean said, unlocking his car and reaching into the passenger seat glove compartment. He pulled out the bottle of Armageddon and handed it quickly over to Crowley. He took it looking impressed.

"This will make things much easier. It was a pleasure to do business with you," he said and started to walk away.

"Wait!" Dean called out after him, "What about payment?"

Crowley turned. "If this works out, looking at his smug, arrogant face covered by bars is all the payment I'll take. If it doesn't, _then_ you'll owe me, but let's burn that bridge if we get there, eh? Until next time, Mr. Winchester."

As Crowley walked away, Dean couldn't help but feel a sense of relief mixed with uncertain dread, and he wondered if this was how Samandriel felt a year ago.


	11. Count Your Losses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer's reign of terror is finally coming to an end, but Dean's problems most certainly aren't.

_Crowley said it would take a few days, just calm down. You're going to give yourself a heart attack at this rate. Calm down. Calm down._

Dean repeated the words as a mantra in his head. His foot jiggled insistently on the linoleum floors of the classroom. How the hell was he expected to pay attention in history class when he was waiting for a killer and drug lord to be arrested so he could go on with his life without worrying about being killed at any second? The answer: Not easily.

"Mr. Winchester, do you need to see the nurse about a fluctuation in adrenaline being produced or may I get on with my class?" The teacher was glaring at him from the front and the student's followed his gaze, a few sniggering, most rolling their eyes.

"No, sorry," Dean mumbled.

Hey, it wasn't his fault that he was on a psychopath's hit-list!

"Thank you," the teacher said, but he honestly didn't sound very thankful to Dean's ears. "As I was saying-"

The shrill of the bell cut him off. He sighed, but raised a hand as dismissal to the class nonetheless. He shot Dean one last withering look as the blond boy shot from his chair and out the class room door. He merged with the swarm of student's heading this way and that, chatting and bustling with no idea what was going on in Dean's head.

Castiel was waiting to walk to lunch with him at Dean's locker. The boy's face lit up when he saw Dean and the Winchester couldn't suppress a smile, no matter how deep his inner turmoil was spiraling. His heart lightened for a brief moment before he remembered what he had done.

Deep down, Dean knew that he did what was best for himself, Cas, and pretty much the rest of the population by helping to catch Lucifer. It was just hard to remember that when he saw Cas, saw the happiness on his face. He had done what he did to keep that happy look alive. But there was also an underlying glint of trust in Castiel's eyes and Dean's actions may have destroyed that faith Castiel put in him, and possibly anyone in the future.

It was a big price to pay, and Dean just hoped he didn't rack up too much debt.

"Dean?" Dean was startled back to reality by Castiel waving a hand in front of his face and calling out his name, not for the first time if Dean had to guess. Dean blinked quickly to refocus himself and turned to look at Cas. The Novak laughed gently. "I think I lost you there for a moment.

_'Never,'_ Dean thought. "Sorry, just a little distracted," was what he said out loud.

Cas gave him a weird smile but shrugged it off easily. They reached the cafeteria and Castiel hurried over to where Hester, Balthazar and Anna sat at the usual table. Dean followed behind him and sat down to Cas' right.

"Hey, Cassie," Balthazar greeted, slapping his brother's shoulder in mild annoyance. "Where did you disappear to this weekend?"

"I slept over at Dean's," Castiel replied calmly. Balthazar raised his eyebrows and looked over at Dean in amusement. Anna seemed surprised, but also a little annoyed. Hester just smirked, already knowing Castiel's weekend whereabouts from when he came over on Saturday.

"Huh," the blond Novak huffed. "Here I was thinking you were avoiding us."

"Now why would I skip out on spending time in your gracious presence?" The sarcastic lie flowed off Castiel's tongue without a hitch. Dean new it was not his first.

"That' what I've been asking myself all weekend!"

Castiel looked like he was about to say something when clatter erupted from the other side of the room.

Lucifer stood up at his table, his lunch tray on the ground. His arms were trembling slightly, visible even from Dean's far vantage point and his eye looked wild, almost feral. Two police officers stood by him, talking in words Dean could not hear, but their hand motion were soothing with a strict undertone.

Castiel's eyes were wide and he was completely tense. He took a sharp intake and Lucifer's head snapped in his direction like he had heard it. Castiel started quivering slightly, and Dean placed a gentle, reassuring hand on his forearm. It said, ' _Hold on'_ and ' _It will be okay'_ and a bit of ' _Holy hell!'_

Castiel whipped hi head around to face him. His voice was a hoarse, petrified whisper. "What did you do?"

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered back, but his heart called out softly into the abyss ' _Worth it'._ He didn't know Castiel' own dreadful heart was sobbing ' _No it's not!'_ back at him.

When a 'Hey!' was called out by a police officer, Dean and Castiel snapped their heads back to the scene. While they had been locked in an emotional battle, together, against each other, both, Lucifer had started walking in their direction, his wild gaze darting between the two of them. One police officer stepped in front him to stop him while the other drew a set of handcuffs, cautiously drawing a hand back in the direction of her stun-gun.

Michael broke through the crowd. "What the hell is going on here?! Where are you taking my brother?!"

Lucifer snapped his jaw like a rabid dog. His eyes never left Castiel and he lunged again in their direction, stopped only by the officer in front of him pushing him back. "CASTIEL!" Lucifer was furious bellowing and fighting the officer's like a horse fighting the bit. He finally broke free and came lunging at their table. Castiel sat there, paralyzed by fear.

A buzz hummed through the crowd.

Lucifer jolted and let out a cry of anguished outrage, before crumpling to the ground. The female officer stood behind him, an already used stun-gun in her hand. The two officers walked over to Lucifer's limp form. If not for the occasional twitches and frantically darting eyes, he could have been mistaken for asleep.

"Lucifer Novak, you are under arrest for accessory and conspiracy to homicide. You have the right to remain silent..."

The rest droned from Dean's ears as the world went mute. It was like someone had stuffed cotton-balls in his ears. The world seemed far away, surreal. The only thing tethering Dean to reality was Castiel's forearm under his hand. Dean vaguely registered Michael following the policemen, spouting out questions and Balthazar and Anna coming to Castiel's side. Dean turned his head, numb, and just caught sight of Crowley as he swept out of the cafeteria.

Dean pushed away from the table, feeling like he was moving through sap. He followed Crowley out into the parking lot behind the school.

He croaked out without preamble, "How?"

The senior turned to him, not seeming that surprised at Dean's presence.

Dean repeated, "How did you do it?"

"It was simple really. Who was the one person, besides your not-really-anonymous witness, who was there for it all?"

"Pellegrino?" Dean couldn't believe it. Why would Nick tell the cops anything? He would be jailed too.

"My Hellhounds can be very..." He searched for the right word, "persuasive. In the last few days, while you were worrying your pretty little head, they were able to gather evidence that proved Pellegrino was the one making drugs for Satan. He figured he would get it easier if he turned himself in and told the police everything. We made him a deal that he couldn't refuse and he threw in Lucifer's name to his confession."

"What did you do for him?"

"Everyone has someone they want to protect. For Nick, it was his little sister. She had been jumping around foster homes, always in trouble, be it shoplifting or drugs. In return for Nick's cooperation, one of my people adopted her. I've got a new Hellhound."

Dean chuckled humorously. Then laughed. Then laughed more. Within seconds, he was hysterical. It all came crashing down. His life had flipped more time than he could count in the past month and now it was finally over. He was finally fine, finally free.

"Dear god, this town has a new nutso already?"

Dean laughed more. "We won," he breathed, before crying it out again. "We won! It's over! It's over! We won!"

Crowley looked at him pityingly. "Don't get too excited."

"Why not? Lucifer has been arrested, no one got hurt! What's not to be excited about?!"

"Whatever hell comes next. The universe gave you this one, but don't think it won't come back to collect. Just remember to count your losses in the end, Dean."

Crowley turned and walked away, but even his foreboding warning couldn't snuff out Dean's hysterical joy.

"Dean?"

Dean whirled around at the familiar voice, his face breaking with the force of the grin seeing Cas brought. Without warning, Dean ran over and pulled Cas into a tight embrace, which the other returned eagerly. Relieved tears dampened both of their faces, but they could not care less.

"We won," Dean whispered into the crook of Castiel's neck.

They stood there for a few minutes, but eventually had to pull back.

"The principal is letting school out for the day," Castiel told Dean. "I'm going to go home with my family for the night, we really just need to be together and it's time I told them the whole story."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, my family will probably want an explanation too."

"Can I come over your house tomorrow afternoon?"

Dean nodded eagerly and Castiel smiled. "I had better go," he whispered, pulling out of Dean's reach.

_'Tell him,'_ a little voice called from the recesses of his mind.

_'Tomorrow,'_ he responded.

Even when Castiel turned back into the building, Dean's smile didn't falter. Nothing could bring him down.

**> >>>><<<<<**

Dean was sitting at his house, waiting for Ellen to get back from the Roadhouse and Bobby from his Auto Repair Shop. His foot jiggled nervously as he sat there, still not completely comprehending everything. Could you blame him? A lot happened in the past month.

The doorbell rang through the house, and Dean remembered that the first time he had seen Castiel was right after that doorbell rang. He got up to get it, swinging the door wide. He froze in his tracks when greeted by the visitor.

"Hey, Dean."

"Dad?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best chapter, I'll admit, but I hope you guys liked it anyway. Only three more full chapters and one mini-chapter left! Bye peoples!


	12. No Fair in Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is back to take his sons home, but Dean has a lot to leave behind.

 "Hello, Dean."

 

"Dad?"

 

Dean looked dumbstruck at his father's- surprisingly sober- face.

 

"Are you going to let me in or what?"

 

Dean moved numbly aside. John stepped through the threshold, stomping his boots on the welcome mat to remove some clumps of mud stuck to the bottom. Dean stared at the shaken residue, his mind going blank. He had not seen or heard from his father in almost 3 months, his last glimpse being the back of John's head as he drove away, leaving Sam and Dean on the front steps of Bobby's house back in July.

 

But now he was back. He was back and he was looking at Dean as if he had something he really wanted to say but couldn't find the words. It was too much for Dean's already fried brain. This day was just too loaded with emotional whiplash. First Lucifer being caught, then his moment with Cas, now his dad was back for god knows what.

 

Dean didn't want to have his mid-life crisis at 16!

 

John looked around awkwardly, seeming to have no idea how to start the conversation, but Dean certainly wasn't going to.

 

The eldest Winchester cleared his throat. "So... how have you been?"

 

Dean laughed at the absurd question. How had he been? Confused, angry, disappointed. And that was just the day John left.

 

Dean had tried to push it all down. He tried not to let anyone see how much his father leaving had affected him. The truth was, Dean didn't do as good with it as he projected. He had looked up to his father, worshipped him. John hadn't always been the best person, and he could be an even worse father, but that was what he was. He was Dean's father. Facts lie that don't change when someone lets you down. John yelled at Dean, but he patched him up when he get hurt. John ignored him, but when Dean was four he read him bedtime stories. John left Dean, but he had taken care of him too. You can't forget family, no matter how much pain they cause.

 

John was still waiting for an answer, so instead of yelling at him, pouring it all out, Dean shrugged and said the farthest thing from the truth. "Fine."

 

"Good... That's good. Did much happen while I was gone?"

 

That was also a very, _very_ difficult question. "Not much. Made some friends." _Fell in love with the best of them._ "Dealt with some assholes." _Worked with the leader of an underground, probably illegal business to stop a drug lord and murderer, both of whom have yet to graduate high school._ "Nothing big." _Huge._

 

John nodded and gave a terse smile. He didn't seem to know what to say next. Dean didn't either.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

But that could work.

 

John cleared his throat again, just for something to do. "I want you and Sam to come back to live with me."

 

Dean laughed again at the insane suggestion. "And what dingy motel half-way across the country would home be this time? You said yourself back in July that you weren't fit to be a parent."

 

"Well I wasn't. But, Dean, I cleaned up. I got help from a friend. I have a steady job and an apartment in Palo Alto. We can live there."

 

Dean clenched his jaw. "What makes you think we want to go back with you?"

 

"Because you know more than anyone that family is important. You can't tell me you don't want to come."

 

He was right. Dean couldn't tell him he didn't want to go with him, for the three of them to be a family again. He missed his dad, and even if the three of them had a rough past, Dean couldn't deny he wanted to try again.

 

But he couldn't say he wanted to leave either. Cas was here and it sounded crazy even to Dean to put someone he knew for a month in front of his father, but he _loved_ Cas. Dear god, he really did. And Cas needed him, now more than ever. He wanted to go, but he didn't want to _leave._

 

Yeah, mid-life crisis.

 

Dean didn't answer; he didn't know what he would say if he did.

 

Luckily, he was saved from the tension of the moment by the door opening again. The question hung in the air like a banner, glaring and prominent.

 

"Dean! Did you hear about what happened with Gabe's cousin today?" Sam had come in, but did not see their father standing in the doorway. His eyes were focused on hanging is school bag and keys and toeing off his shoes. "School was let out early, which is okay, but apparently he was-"

 

Sam's face went slack, blank when he saw their father. He had stopped moving, one hand hovering in midair as the product of a half-completed hand gesture. "Dad?"

 

Dean wondered if that was what his father saw when Dean opened the door to reveal his face for the first time in four months.

 

"Hiya Sammy," John said with a bittersweet smile. Sam had never had a very good relationship with their father. They tended to butt heads on most subjects, Sam thinking he deserved more independence and John adamant about him being too young to make important decisions.

 

"What are you doing here?" There was an undernote of bitterness in his tone. Sam had been more out-rightly hurt about their father leaving them behind.

 

John seemed to struggle with the words to answer Sam's unexpectedly blunt question.

 

Dean- always the middle man- answered, "He wants us to go back with him, Sammy."

 

Sam's eyes widened. "No," he answered quickly. "No! You don't get to say that! You don't get to leave us here and then just come back on a whim and haul us off with you. No, I'm not going."

 

"Sam..." John started, but he didn't know how to finish. He looked at Dean, almost pleading his eldest child to help him come up with words. Dean didn't say anything. What was there to say?

 

"No! The answer is no!" Sam was breaking one of the rules now: Do not raise voices authority figures. It was a rule that Dean had drilled into him since he was old enough to understand it.

 

Sam had always been extremely mature for his age, even extra mature for Dean's age. He was always calm and collected. John had always been the only one who could really make him act his real age. In that moment, Sam was a twelve year old faced with an adult problem. He did what most people faced with this sort of conflict would do. He ran out the backdoor and into the backyard.

 

John started after him, but Dean shifted I front of him slightly. "Just leave him be right now. He needs time."

 

John sighed. "Not exactly a warm 'Welcome Home'."

 

"It wasn't exactly a warm 'See You Later' either," Dean bit back. It wasn't often he talked back to his father, but this situation warranted a bit of bitterness.

 

John opened his mouth, but, once again, they were interrupted by the lock turning in the door and someone entering the house. This time it was Ellen and Jo, followed by Bobby. They all stopped in the entrance hall. Jo looked confused and a bit awkward, not knowing her uncle too well. Ellen was surprised and instantly took on her 'Protective Mama Bear' face. Bobby's own features melted into the same look, but a burning anger lay sleeping underneath, just poking out enough to warn John of the dormant beast ready to wake up at the first wrong move.

 

"Jo," Ellen started evenly, "why don't you go find Sam? He should be around here somewhere." Jo moved away from the entrance and Dean pointed her in the direction of the backyard where Sam had run off to. She followed his silent directions and quickly scurried out of the room, casting curious glances back.

 

"Ellen, Bobby," John greeted.

 

"Hello, John," Ellen replied, feigning politeness.

 

"Dean," Bobby said, addressing his nephew but never taking his eyes off John. "Can you let us talk for a few minutes? There are some curse words you probably don't know yet-maybe even a few I'll make up on the spot- and what kind of responsible guardian would teach you them so soon?" John grimaced as the thinly veiled barb.

 

Dean nodded, knowing that this was something he wanted to take no part in. Instead of going outside with Sam and Jo, he went upstairs. He knew how this worked. John was still their legal guardian, he was their father, and they were leaving. There were no happy endings.

 

He had to do something to make up for his lost one.

 

**> >>>><<<<<** 

 

It was almost an hour before Bobby came back upstairs, and Dean had just finished his project. The man looked beaten, defeated, regretful. Dean knew.

 

He _knew._

 

"Come on, Dean," his uncle said. Dean stood up numbly, picking up the bag he had already packed on his way out of the room, following Bobby down the stairs.

 

He _knew._

 

Sam was standing wet eyes by the door, but the tears had yet to fall. Sam wouldn't cry in front of anyone, especially not their father. He had his arms crossed and a packed suitcase by his feet.

 

He _knew._

 

Jo was standing by an angrily resigned Ellen, her eyes equally wet, but a few tears tracked down her face. She had no need to maintain face in front of John.

 

He _knew._

 

Bobby did not say anything to John when he reached the landing. He moved over to his wife and daughter, ignoring John's outstretched hand of good-bye.

 

He _knew._

 

Dean moved over to his father, still numb. He couldn't feel if he tried and he couldn't try because he wouldn't feel. John opened the door and Dean knew he wouldn't be back here for a while.

 

He _knew._

 

As Dean passed Jo, when he leaned in for his farewell hug, he whispered to her, "On my desk." She would understand and take care of the rest.

 

He _knew._

 

Dean knew the damage he was inflicting. He knew the glass he was breaking. He knew he would bleed. He knew he wouldn't be the only one.

 

He _knew._

 

He hated knowing.

 

He hated leaving.

 

He didn't know how he felt going.

 

He went.

 

**> >>>><<<<<** 

 

_Dear Cas,_

 

_I am so sorry. You might not understand why I had to go right now, and you might never. Jo (who I'm assuming gave you this letter) will explain everything. You also might never forgive me. That hurts to think about, but I deserve it. You might never trust again, and that kills me, but you don't deserve it._

 

_Please Cas, if not for me, do it for yourself. Let people in. Tell your story. Make sure Lucifer stays away forever. Let yourself be happy. Let yourself live. Don't let my screw ups, my broken pieces stop you from living and trusting and loving._

 

_Be happy. That's really all I want. It's all I've wanted for you. Ever. I've wanted you to be happy, and I wanted to be there to help make that happen. But I can't be. So you just have to let other people help you be happy. Let them pick up my broken pieces._

 

_You have so many people who love you. You have Hester, and Anna, and Balthazar. You have Michael, and Gabe and all of your other family members I didn't get to meet. You have people Cas, don't leave them out in the cold._

 

_Don't hate me Cas, please. I know that sounds selfish, but don't hate me. Hate that I left, sure. Hell, I hate that enough for the both of us already, so you might as well join the club. But don't hate me. Don't hate the guy who helped you, the guy who hugged you, the guy who drove you home because some assholes stole your bike while you were delivering pizza (also, find those guys and get your bike back, it's been a damn month!)_

 

_That is the guy I am. I'm not the guy who's crossing town lines on his way to the West Coast._

 

_Don't hate me. Don't hate the world, either. You're stuck living in it._

 

_Take care of yourself, and every now and then, let other people take care of you._

 

_Good-bye doesn't seem like enough,_

 

_Dean_

 

__I love you._ _

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No this isn't the end of the book, there are 15 chapters total.


	13. The Road Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a long way to go before he gets back to East Asher... and Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a mini-chapter just to bridge the years between chapter 12 and chapter 14.

Dean had sworn to himself and to Sammy that they would stay together, no matter what. Sam wanted to get out of Palo Alto and away from John as soon as he could and Dean just wanted to get back to Castiel just as soon. However, no matter how much he wanted to go home- it would always be his home- Dean would not leave his brother behind. Him and John living together for the two years Dean was an adult and Sam wasn't would be nuclear.

Dean's eighteenth birthday came with Sam telling him to go home and he would follow.

"Not a chance Sammy," he said with a firm head shake. "I'm making this promise to you now, I'm not ever going to leave you. I will always be by your side. Even if in two years you decide you want to go someplace other than East Asher, we'll go there." The words burned like acid coming from his mouth, but he could see it on Sam's face when he said that; they were going home.

**> >>>>2 YEARS LATER<<<<<**

Sam wanted to go back home, he really did. But more than he wanted to see the town line of East Asher, he wanted to go to Stanford. It had been his dream college since he knew what college was. He wanted to be a lawyer, and Stanford could do that for him. Sam also knew that more than Dean wanted to get away from their father and go back to Cas, he wanted Sam to be successful. Sam thought Dean could have at least one of those things and still stay with him, but he was wrong.

"Look, Sam," John said when Sam and him were making college plans, "I am really proud of you for getting a free ride to Stanford. It's great! I really want you to go, but money is too tight to pay for an apartment or housing. Why don't you just live here for the next four years? Palo Alto is only 10 minutes by bus. I specifically chose a place close by." John looked a little too proud about remembering Sam's dream college, in the youngest Winchester's opinion.

Sam wanted to leave his father in the rearview mirror more than anything, but the rational part of his brain, the part that was not completely clouded by resentment, reminded him that staying in the apartment with John through college to save money was the best idea. Sam hated himself for it, hated the world, but he agreed.

Sam broke the news to Dean later, trying to apologize, but Dean laid a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Sammy, it's okay. I get it. You're supposed to be the smart Winchester, this is just you doing your job. Don't apologize. I'll stay here for the next four years. East Asher can wait. We can wait."

Dean was only half-lying. He was glad Sam had gotten into Stanford, more proud than he could say. It was the waiting part that he wasn't sure was true. He would wait, he would stay by Sam, but a part of him wondered if it was East Asher that was waiting... or him.

A deep, dark part of Dean's mind was scared of what he would find in East Asher. He had no idea what Cas would be like when he got back. Hell, he had no idea if Cas would still be there!

Dean was scared, sure, but the part of him that was unsure was the part of him that knew he had to go back the most. His fear only made him miss Cas all the more.

**> >>>>4 YEARS LATER<<<<<**

Finally. Finally, he was here again. Dean sat in the driver's seat of the Impala with Sam next to him. In front of him was the sign he had been waiting to see for the past eight years.

_Welcome to East Asher!_

"Dean," Sam probed gently, "Are you gonna drive?"

Dean nodded slowly, replying in a hoarse whisper, "Yeah, yeah, I am Sammy."

As they entered the town, Dean thought, _"I'm home, Cas. Are you?"_


	14. The Aftermath Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is back in East Asher, but he was not prepared for the chaos left in his wake.

Dean had been back in East Asher for a week when he saw Castiel for the first time. It had taken him some time to work up the courage to find him, and first he had to get the go-ahead from Hester-

Oh yeah, that. That's probably important. Back up.

Dean had been in town for _six_ days when he ran into Hester. He had been going to visit the Roadhouse for the first time. He would have sooner, but he and Sammy were still getting settled into the apartment they rented. Dean had taken a part-time job helping Bobby out at Singer's Auto Garage and was a bit swamped with getting used to the job and his co-workers. Most of them were nice, even if there were a few assholes. Looking at you, Victor.

Dean had been catching up with his family too. Bobby was doing fine, but he normally was. Dean's uncle was a very stoic man. Ellen had been good too, happy that the Roadhouse was getting more customers. It had become a very popular hang-out in town. Jo was still away at college, having taken a year to herself after high school, so Dean hadn't talked to her.

And then there was Cas. Dean had been too nervous to find him since he got back in to town. Dean told himself pretty little lies- he was too busy, he didn't know how, etc.- but, while those could be factors, there was one truth he couldn't deny.

He was scared.

He wanted to see Castiel more than anything. He wanted to hug him and hold him and as cheesy as it sounds never let him go. Ever. But what if Cas didn't want that? What if he hated Dean more than anything? What if Dean went to knock on his door and found a vacant house? What if Castiel was disgusted by Dean's love confession at the end of his letter?

There was one scenario that sounded like the worst to Dean.

What if he didn't care?

Dean could take the anger, the outrage, the complete and utter hate. What he wouldn't be able to take would be dismissal, nonchalance. He knew this was possible, even likely. He knew that eight years was a long time, and they had only known each other for a single month. That didn't change the fact that Cas was a revolutionary part of Dean's life. Would Dean be able to look into Castiel's eyes and see complete nonrecognition?

The short answer: no.

Which is probably why Dean running into Hester before he saw Cas was a good thing. 

He had finally gone back to the Roadhouse. Ellen had to pull a double shift and Dean thought he would help out with the crowd. He had only been behind the bar for an hour when a somewhat familiar face pulled up a stool. Her head was in her phone, so she didn't notice Dean until he came up to take her order.

"Oh, I'm just waiting here for a friend," she replied with a small smile. Dean felt like he knew her, but he couldn't put his finger on it. From the look in the girl's eye, she was having the same difficulty. 

"Dean, where's my order for over here?" Ellen's call snapped Dean out of his reverie. As he was walking away, a hand shot out and wrapped around his elbow. It belonged to the girl Dean didn't quite recognize. She was staring at Dean with wide eyes and he guessed she just figured out who he was.

She croaked out hoarsely, "Dean Winchester?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry, I don't quite recognize y-"

Before he could get the last syllable out, the girl's free hand whipped across his face in a hard slap. Now she was no longer confused, or shocked. She was downright pissed. 

"Cas may not hate you, but the rest of us sure do," she spat at him.

That was when it clicked for Dean. "Hester?"

"What the hell are you doing back here? After what,  _eight years_? Do you think you could just  waltz back in?"

Dean shrunk back at her accusing tone, mostly because he knew she was right. "Hester, please, you have to know I never wanted to hurt him."

"Well then good for you, you did it without trying," Hester hissed.

"Can we please just talk?"

"About what? What could you possibly have to say for yourself Dean?"

"Just let me talk to you, I want to know about Cas," he pleaded.

"You know damn well how he's doing. It's clear as day!" When Dean didn't reply she narrowed her eyes at him. "Wait. Oh lord, you haven't been to see him yet, have you?"

Dean shook his head and Hester sighed heavily. She seemed to have calmed down, at least to the point that Dean did not think she would slap him again.

"How long have you been back?"

"A week," he mumbled.

"And you've held out that long? I would have thought that after that love confession you would have been clawing at his door the second you crossed town lines."

Dean's head shot up to look at her again from where it had fell. "You read the note?"

"No, that would be too private, but I got the gist after hearing Castiel sobbing that you should have told him sooner for ages. You hurt him, Dean," Hester said, but she wasn't spitting angry anymore. She looked disappointed in him. 

"I-I know. I want to see him again, so badly. But I'm afraid," he said quietly.

Hester sighed. "Dean, you have to know... the last eight years have taken a toll on Cas. He's been to hell and back and then some. All of it is your fault, don't delude yourself into thinking otherwise. If you're only in town for a little while, don't bother speaking to him. He won't be able to take you leaving again. If you are back for good though, you can't stay away from him. I hate to say it, but the two of you need each other."

"I know, I know. I just... I have no idea where he is after eight years! There's a chance he doesn't even remember me!"

Hester snorted. "As if. Dean, he has never forgotten you, and he has never gotten over you."

Dean didn't reply yet, but she made no move to turn away, and Dean didn't want her to. This was an unfinished conversation. He gulped nervously. "What happened to him after I left?"

Hester chuckled humorously and shook her head. "Do you really want to talk about this here?" 

Dean looked around. There were many patrons around, and Ellen was looking at him with concerned eyes from behind the register. "Can we talk in the break room?"

Hester nodded and got up to follow him behind the counter and to a more private room. Dean shot Ellen a signal to say he was taking a break and she nodded slowly, sensing something important. Once Dean was in the break room with Hester, he gestured for her to take a seat on the worn leather couch employees relaxed on. She perched on the edge and Dean sat across from her on the coffee table, e;bows on knees and hands wringing together.

Hester took a deep breath before she started. "What happened to Cas after you left is a really long story, and frankly parts of it you should hear from him. All I'll tell you is Dean, he hit bottom. He was completely broken. He started drinking, he turned to Meg a lot more often... one time I even found him using a hidden stash of Lucifer's old Croatoan."

Dean sucked in a harsh breath. Oh, wow, he could feel that. That little tinkle in his chest; Dean felt his heart breaking.

"He was a mess. The only really good thing that happened was that Lucifer's trial was a success. He is staying in jail for the rest of his life. Not having your testimony hurt the trial, but Cas took the witness stand and told them everything, so we won. 

"About two years after you left things really changed when- Wait, no, he should tell you the rest."

Dean glanced up at her hopefully. "So you really think I should talk to him?"

Hester sighed again. "I think that the second Cas agreed to let you drive him back to the pizza place he was lost. But if he's going to stay lost, you damn well better be there to guide him through the dark."

Hester patted his knee in farewell and stood, moving towards the door. She stopped wither her hand on the knob and pivoted back to him. "I'm not going to tell him you're back, yet. You have to take matters into your own hands. I also won't tell Balthazar, who I'm meeting here. He's going to have to talk to Cas before Balth sees you again. It took three months to fully convince him not to come after you with a gun."

Then she left, and Dean was alone with his thoughts, swirling around in his head, creating a hurricane and he just couldn't seem to find the eye.

The next day, after a restless night, Dean stood on the door mat to Castiel's house. Here he was.

_Knock._

_Knock._

_Knock._


	15. Role Credits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end...

_Knock._

_Knock._

_Knock._

Dean's heart was in his throat as he knocked on the door to Castiel's house. This was it. This was what he waited for throughout the past eight years.

How could eight years not be enough time to prepare?

Dean didn't have time to chicken out, thank god, because then the door swung open. Dean's breath caught.

Castiel was the most beautiful broken heart Dean had ever seen. He had grown up, his face bearing a more prominent stubble and slightly sharper features, and his hair had fluffed out and was now tamed, as opposed to his previous 'sex hair.'

His eyes remained the same. They pierced Dean, cutting through him, staring into his mind, heart, soul. Dean almost broke under their intensity.

"Dean?" Castiel's voice had always been deep, but it was even more gravelly now.

"Hey Cas," Dean whispered.

Dean had no idea what to expect, but he knew what he did not expect, and sure enough, it was exactly what happened.

Castiel pulled Dean by the arm tight against his lithe frame in a breath-taking hug, and not just because of the strength. Dean froze, unable to process the show of affection. Castiel seemed to have mistaken Dean's surprise for discomfort, and moved to pull away, but hell if Dean was going to let him go ever again.

Dean reeled Castiel back in and fit their bodies together like puzzle pieces. Castiel tensed at first, but relaxed into Dean's arms within moments. Dean buried his face into Castiel's neck as the brunet brought his arms around Dean's back, his palms clutching the fabric by Dean's shoulder blades.

Castiel was the first to pull away, very slowly, never completely leaving Dean's arms but creating enough empty air between them to look at each other. Dean silently protested the movement at first, but reluctantly leaned back.

"Dean," Castiel whispered quietly, "what are you doing here?"

"I came back." Dean matched his volume to Castiel's and it seemed as if the entire world had quieted. "I'm finally back."

"I missed you," Cas admitted, casting his eyes down.

Dean moved one hand from his waist and brought Castiel's chin up so their eyes met again. "I missed you too, so fucking much."

They fell silent, the air between them charged with something, but nothing that needed their immediate attention. For now, they were both content with just being together, finally together.

Castiel shivered after a few minutes and Dean gently urged him backwards into the still open house. Castiel took Dean's hand in his and led him into the living room. Dean took in the small changes that had been made in the past eight years. A few new pictures hung on the fireplace mantel, but Dean didn't get a chance to look at them.

Castiel led him to the couch and they sat down side by side. Castiel never released his hand. "How have you been?"

Dean shrugged. "Fine. I've spent most of the time wanting to be back here. What about you?"

Castiel matched Dean's shrug. "Things got rough."

Dean nodded, deciding not to mention that he had talked to Hester. I didn't matter now. He was back with Cas in person. "Tell me."

Castiel shook his head, but Dean didn't want to let it go that easily. "I want to hear, Cas."

Castiel looked down again but this time he brought his head back up before Dean had the chance to. "You'd be disappointed in me," he admitted quietly.

"Never."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're still here. After all the shit that happened to us, to _you,_ you stayed. You were strong throughout it all and it was all crammed into one month." _'And I blame myself for everything anyway,'_ Dean added inwardly. Cas wouldn't want to hear that.

"It was a pretty crazy month."

_Dean met someone who would become his best friend._

_Dean met the violently crazy cousin of his best friend._

_A drug lord nearly killed Dean's best friend._

_Dean found out the crazy cousin was said drug lord and had previously killed his best friend's former best friend._

_Dean worked with a hellish underground business organization run by a senior with a D in World Language to save his best friend._

_The drug lord/ crazy cousin was arrested and taken away from Dean's best friend._

_Dean's dad reappeared and Dean was taken away from his best friend._

_Dean fell in love with his best friend._

"The craziest."

Castiel breathed in slowly, and let it out. "All I'll say is that in the past five years I crashed, came up for air, and sunk again. It was bad in the beginning. I was getting drunk, going crazy. I was a mess. Then it all turned around."

"What happened?"

"I knocked Meg up."

Dean spluttered, "Come again for big fudge?"

"Meg got pregnant. She had some tests done and it was mine. Almost one year and nine months after you left, my daughter was born." Cas got up and took one of the pictures off the mantle. Dean now saw that it was him holding a three year old girl with his eyes, the both of them smiling widely into the camera.

"She's beautiful," Dean whispered as he touched the photo lightly, tracing her childish face and marveling at the resemblance.

"She was. Her name was Claire, and oh god Dean, you would have loved her. I think she somehow got more of you in her than Meg."

Dean laughed sadly, but sobered quickly. "What happened?"

"Gabriel was driving her home from the park. They got T-boned by a car that missed it's light. He survived but she didn't. Dead on impact, and only six. Want to hear the kicker? Crowley was the one who hit them. He didn't make it either."

Dean reached out and grasped Castiel's quivering hand, trying to hold in his own tears of sympathy and loss of a life he never got the chance to know. In that moment, he would have killed Crowley, but the monster of a man was already dead and gone.

Cas wiped teary eyes and continued, "I fell back down the rabbit hole for a while. Jo finally kicked be back off my ass."

"Jo?"

"Yep, your one and only cousin. She sort of took up care of me after you left. She's a sweet girl, Dean."

Dean made the mental note to give Jo a bid hug when he saw her on her next break. "And now?"

"I'm healing."

"I'll help."

Castiel smiled at Dean's soft promise. They fell quiet again, but not silent, for their breaths still stirred the space between them that had grew smaller without their notice.

And then Cas closed the distance to meet Dean's lips with his own. Dean's hand flew up to cup the brunet's neck as he returned the kiss. _Finally, finally, finally._ It was a mantra in his mind and he forgot everything else but Cas.

After numerous shared affections, Castiel pulled away to breathe, resting their foreheads together, not moving his hand from where it had landed on Dean's cheek.

"Dean?"

"Yeah," he whispered back breathlessly.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are at the end. It's been a long time coming and I hope everyone enjoyed! A giant thank you to everyone who stood by me through the crazy update schedule and the verifiable hell I put Dean and Cas through. You are all amazing! Check out some of my other stuff, vote, comment, share!  
> Bye peoples!


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